I've been with my DP for 12 years and have 4 DCs aged 3-8. Although we were electric sexually when we first met, this petered out over time with children/busy life and complacency such that I stopped finding my DP attractive and sex became rare and perfunctory. I liked the closeness occasionally but could take it or leave it. This came to a head a year ago for reasons I won't go into and this forced me into me evaluating our sex life. We have moved ( at my suggestion and to my surprise with his enthusiasm) from the vanilla into the land of fantasy and I am sated 
and happier BUT I worry that my DP is still not changing his other habits that annoy me (care, drinking, job share) and that is getting me down. Should I tackle these now and risk upsetting the new balance?