My MIL is just odd - or is it just me?

[Blushingm]

She doesn't speak to any of her nieces of nephews on her side (there are many of them)
She doesn't speak to her brother
She sulks if her other brother (who had polio and can hardly walk) and her other sister (who is aggro phobic) don't come to visit her but she won't go and see them.
I am nothing to her as last summer I didn't visit her as she started trying to discuss me and she problems when I didn't think it was any of her business. Because of this and the fact I decided to go back to college she doesn't speak to me, bad mouthed me and refuses to take care of our school if it's something to help me..............it's getting me down. DH thinks it's my fault as I didn't pop over etc and that our marriage issues are her business. I don't know what to do - she takes digs at me to ds to the point he doesn't want to go over there anymore - he's very protective of me.

What do I do! Do I swallow everything and grovel and say she's right all along and I'm terrible or do I just act like she doesn't exist to me and put up with the fact DH thinks I'm wrong and they all go over there and act like happy families?

I suppose that that puts a slightly different slant on it.

Him wanting to talk to his mum about an intimate health issue is one thing, but it sounds as if her talk to you was just to let you know that she knew!

As usual in these situations, your problem isn't with your MIL it's with your H. Why wasn't he there to pick your DD up so you could attend your mother's wake?

He went to the funeral with me as I didn't want to drive if I was in a state. My mum was an alcoholic and things were very difficult with her

I would have gone nuclear too if my child came home saying that too. I can say thougg for certainly that if that would have been my dp he would have stopped mil dead in her tracks, it sound t have got of the 'idea' ground. Letting your dd feel that you wasn't liked is awful and poisonous.

I suppose it's hard on the men who have lived like this but I know it can be done sticking up for yourself and walking away as ive done it myself with my own mother.

I think you need to take stock of what's important to you, who are important to you and what you can put up with and that doesn't mean you taking it on the chin for every fucker else's benefit. Sounds like she is already being toxic with your kids

The sex issue would be a deal breaker for me. I wouldnt be able to relax incase his mother heard all about it the next day.