What pounding and Oly said.
I'm not really a fireworks person. My friend and I talked about this once. She immediately wanted the roaring fire. I said I wanted the long term glow that you could poke occasionally to stir up bigger flames.
Other half and I met online and had good emails and phone chats. When we actually met I thought, oh OK don't fancy you and it probably won't be. But it had felt like a healthy friendship that would be good to keep. He wasn't pushy or desperate and paced me well. I found him interesting and liked the idea that he would be a good male mate, especially because I had become friends with men lately, which was nice - rather than only have men who were lovers in my life, which I was sooo over (pardon the pun).
I deliberately kept things a little arms length though because he was a divorced lone parent. We weren't always on the same page with fundamentals but could talk about them and find our joint way. No relationship is completely smooth running and we had and still have our ups and downs.
Then over time the package started coming together, more shared trust, taking each other seriously, involving friends and family and seeing how comfortable they were with us as a couple. And of course I started fancying him more. Other half lost tons of weight (he was quite overweight) through diet and exercise, which he'd let slip in his bachelor days! I'd stick with him whatever his size or looks, but he's really attractive. I couldn't (wouldn't let myself?) see it before. Can't keep my hands off him either, all is well bedroom dept!
To this day, there's usually something everyday that my DH says or does that makes my heart skip a beat. A kiss, a word, a look, a joke, quiet confidence, listening, sharing, being patient - always something. Of course we annoy each other too. But we have the glow and the fire.