I'm not young & I've been about shall we say!
I have a DC with someone who I never really had a relationship with. I see him very sporadically, however, he really is a total bastard & I just can't seem to get over him & move on.
I delete all his contact details etc, never contact him & then he clicks his fingers & off I go running! What is wrong with me???? He is such bad news for me & is hideous for my mental state of mind.
He doesn't really show any interest in DC (he does financially)
We can never have a proper relationship so I don't know why & how I am so fucking obsessed with him!!!!
It's driving me insane, I really, really want free of this man. My heart can't take anymore - it's just awful.
I saw him last week briefly (got too drunk as was so nervous) can't really remember anything so feel hideous remorse & now left feeling vulnerable & insecure.
HOW DO I GET OVER THIS MAN!! How do I rid my life of him.
(If he ever wants a relationship with DC then I of course would never stand in the way)
But this man is bad for me, he's not horrible, nasty or anything just I can't have him & ultimately wouldn't even want him, serial philanderer etc ....
Please help me, please give me some tools to stop this horrific emotional roller coaster - I've had enough & can't take anymore pain in my heart & head.
I have to be strong for my DC & not let him grow up with Mummy being sad, it's not fair & I'm an idiot for not just putting a stop to it. HELP!!!! I just want to move on & be over him.
Fed up of being so hurt 
I don't have the greatest past when it comes to relationships, I seem to go for the most dysfunctional men I can find 
Thanks for reading this far