How generous is your DH/DP?

[Anxiousanne01]

As title. I guess I do mean mainly in terms of money but also in terms of time and love too. If they are generous in terms of money, is that to compensate for a lack of generosity in other areas?

Could you be with a partner who was less generous and insisted on a 50/50 split on everything, even if earnings between the two of you varied massively?

There isn’t any real, pressing reason for this post. I think a couple of threads over the past few days on here have got me thinking, that and a girl I work with has just announced that her boyfriend of only 4 months has just surprised her with a long weekend trip away to Barcelona at the end of the month……All paid for by him! Que all us women in the office swooning about how wonderful it would be to have someone do that for them!

[Joysmum]

Very generous. He pays for holidays and my clothes - he always says just to ask for whatever I want

I'm glad that works for you but I couldn't live like that.

There's no way I'd want to be in a position where I need to 'ask' a gatekeeper for anything.

In our setup, disposable income gets divided equally and goes in our separate personal accounts to do with as we see fit without the need to ask the other.

[ItsAll]

Hmm, but generosity isn't just about £, is it? And it would be easy to be generous with £ if you have a lot of it anyway...

DH is happy for me to buy anything that I want (within reason); but I suppose this comes from my salary ultimately. When I was writing up my PhD, he spent hours helping me to make figures. And when I need extra support, I know he'll be there.

[ZetaPu]

When dh and I got married, we were earning roughly the same and had our own finances but pooled equal amounts of money into a joint account.
When I went part time after having ds1 and dh got a salary increase, dh put all joint account money in and I kept my salary for my own expenses, ds' expenses and treats.
When I got made redundant, dh carried on with all joint expenses plus put money into my account and funded my course to retrain.

That to me means more than surprising me by organising trips away. He thought nothing of it but I felt awkward since I've always had my own money since the age of 16.

He is also generous with time and affection and we both have time with friends and separate social lives. If dh thinks I look fed up he practically shoves me out of the door to go see some friends while he sorts kids out (take away and a film for them)

[bananamilkshake1]

Me & DP don't live together so all home expenses are individual. He's generous with booking things & spends more on food & wine than me, but otherwise it's 50/50. We earn pretty much the same but he's mortgage free whereas I'm not.

I'm generally happy with the arrangement, although his constantly balancing scales in terms of how much he's spent vs me is sometimes a bit tedious! He did take me to Barcelona for a weekend very early on in our relationship though :-)

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

Well there isn't really room for financial generosity in our marriage as I'm a SAHM so all the money is technically his! He sees it 100% as family money though. He doesn't begrudge me spending any of it on myself, as long as we have it available. Even when we were both earning our money was family money rather than belonging to one or other of us.

[BolshierAyraStark]

Pretty generous in both the financial & time spent together, as am I. We have a pretty equal relationship, wouldn't want it any other way tbh.