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Original poster

Me and Dp havent shared the bed since baby was born (10/2004)

18 replies

biglips · 22/11/2006 11:00

as he twitched terrible in bed as mostly it starts when he starting to go into a deep sleep and it either his feet or his bum(!!) start twitching which i ended getting up wounded up and either go into a spare bed or he does

He said it only our bed that it wakes him up sometimes too

im getting abit down as we have sex once a month! since i had the baby as im too knackered half the time and same to him too. But cos we arent sharing the bed..im not even thinking of sex as i do feel like a single mum in our BIG bed!!

We both love our sleep and take turns at weekends too for a lie in. We both dearly love each other as we kiss each other and pat each other on our bum - you know thing like that.. but i dont wanna be in separate beds forever.

Dp had tried all the tabs but it made him ill and i want him back in our bed

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Original poster
biglips · 22/11/2006 11:02

actually we have shared the bed about 7 times but it when we are drunk!! but thats not enough

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Rocklover · 22/11/2006 15:03

Has he been to his GP? Twitching can be due to various medical conditions. Twitching that much is not normal, if you want it seen to then get him to the doctors asap. If he has already tried medication from them and it doesn't work/has side effects ask to see a consultant.

Original poster
biglips · 22/11/2006 17:35

im afraid he had done all that!

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NotQuiteCockney · 22/11/2006 17:41

Did he used to twitch like this before you had your DD?

I don't think there's anything wrong with sleeping in separate beds, but it sounds like you're not happy.

Things that might help:

  • a bigger bed, so you don't feel him twitching?
  • a harder bed, so it shakes less with him twitching?
  • you can get beds that have two separate matresses, this would cut down on the twitching bugging you, too.
MrsJohnCusack · 22/11/2006 17:45

what medication has he tried?
DH's twitching got immeasurably better when he was given iron tablets when he had his ulcer and was found to be severely anaemic - lack of iron can be a cause of restless legs. Just in case that avenue hasn't been tried. I feel your pain - I couldn't stand to share a bed with him before it was sorted out.
agree hassle the doctor because it isn't normal. But also if it's only your bed then look at getting a new mattress? (see NQC's advice)

cori · 22/11/2006 17:46

No advice but have a similar problem with DH due to snoring. It bothers me too, and I know it affects our relationship. But dont know what we can do to solve it.

Original poster
biglips · 22/11/2006 17:56

hw had tried everything and the consultant said that the last tabs that he had worked on other people and if this didnt work.. there are no other tabs (hes a window cleaner and also drives in his job but the tabs were making him falling asleep so it was too dangerous).

Yes he had always had restless legs but it gone worse over the years - ive noticed when hes stressed out - the legs are mental.

we've got a BIG wooden solid bed and a new solid hard mattress but now we need a harder mattress as we both suffer with our backs as we both prefer to sleep on the floor

ive talked to Dp about having two seperate mattresses bed but the wooden bed is an excellent bed. He said that the other bed he doesnt seem to twitch!!..ill have a go sleeping with him in the bunk bed 2nite.

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Original poster
biglips · 22/11/2006 17:57

the mattress is 2 and half years old

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Judy1234 · 22/11/2006 20:21

Can't you just have lots of sex but not in the bed or somewhere else? I don't see why the fact you don't share a room means sex has to be once a month.

tribpot · 22/11/2006 20:30

Can you put two single mattresses on the wooden bed frame? Or would they slide out in comical (yet not) fashion in the middle of the night?

The twitching does sound weird, and the doctor's attitude not particularly helpful. I'm surprised at a nighttime medication affecting his driving during the day. What was it, out of interest?

Cori, my dh has sleep apnoea (stopping breathing during sleep, with HORRIFIC snoring side effects). He's now being treated by the local sleep clinic. It's worth talking to a doctor about, even if 'he snores' sounds ludicrous as a reason to go there. There are loads of over-the-counter remedies that you can try as well, if you haven't already?

I am proud (not) to say that my dh has the worst case of sleep apnoea that anyone in Leeds has ever seen. If it wasn't clinically irresponsible, they would love him to do another sleep study without the machine, so they could use it for training purposes If you're going to do something, I think it's important to do it well.

Original poster
biglips · 22/11/2006 22:05

ive spoken to my Dp and he said that once he gets into our bed he can feel his legs are getting ready to be twitching before he goes to sleep so weve decided to sleep in the bunk bed and see if his legs are twitching there

Our mattress is firm but got a abit of a bounce in it, the bunk bed mattress is hard.

Yes we can put 2 mattresses in our wooden bed as it will "slot" in. Our mattress costed us nearly £300!!!!

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Original poster
biglips · 22/11/2006 22:07

tribot - im not sure what the tabs..ill find out l8ter x

and yes we do it elsewhere too but also im missing the closeness in bed..

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SnoGloworm · 22/11/2006 22:09

has he tried calcium tablets for his restless legs? they cured mine

Original poster
biglips · 22/11/2006 22:10

no he hadnt Sno

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Nemoinapeartree · 22/11/2006 22:11

is it only since DD was born that his legs went worse????????? Got no suggestions but it must be quite hard..I love when DH is away as have bed to myself..however that is only because it is occasional not all the time.

SnoGloworm · 22/11/2006 22:14

calcium is worth a try, and its worth getting a decent brand (even a good brand of calcium is pretty cheap)

it might take a few weeks to work so stick with it for a while.
take it in the evening, after dinner.

I would recommmend one which is "calcium and magnesium" combined.

Original poster
biglips · 22/11/2006 22:21

yes Nemo as i think its the stress that makes it worse.. ...

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Original poster
biglips · 22/11/2006 22:22

ok thanks Sno - ill have a go at the Health shop. Ill do anything to get him back in our bed

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