How to show DH how much he means?

[VanillaMilkshake]

Ladies I needs some help!

My DH and I have been together 11 years, married for 5.

In the past 3 years he has supported me through 3 miscarriages, the death of my beloved mum and the birth and raising of our DD.

I want to show him how much he means to me and our daughter - also we have baby no.2 due in the next couple of weeks - and he's been brill about making sure I have my feet up and sleep enough during this PG too.

He has never once had a bad thing to say about what I do or how I do it, my weight, my appearance etc. The odd cheeky remark, for which he gets as good as in return - but never anything hurtful

He works really early shifts but still finds time to be a fab dad in the afternoons to our DD. I do what I can to make sure he has enough sleep and I try to make sure he is always well fed to keep his energy up. But compared to what I feel he does for me I dont think it's nearly enough. We say I love you every night - but I feel I need to show him I dont want to take him for granted and he's literally the only reason my life is as good as it is.

I feel truly blessed that I have found him.

There's not much money to be spent otherwise I'd whisk him off somewhere - or treat him to something he's like. Have thought about writing him a letter but think it's a bit cheesy - any other suggestions. Could anyone else ask thier DH what they'd like, or what they feel would show how much they are appreciated.

How wonderful to have such a relationship. I feel the same way about my dh - so much so that I sometimes wonder what he sees in me that he is willing to live the way he does. I once heard a couple interviewed on TV, who had been together some 30 or more years, and seemed to have the same sort of relationship as us, where the dh did so much and was so supportive. He put it all into perspective for me "She's my cornerstone" he said. For him, everything rested on her, he may do things, but she is for him - together they balance each other. Difficult to put it into words, especially without seeming to puff oneself up. I find it difficult to believe that I am so important to someone, but I must be, else why would we have the relationship we have?

So perhaps you already actually give him everything he wants. Perhaps that "I love you" last thing at night is the most rewarding, most important thing he hears every day, and delights him. I'm not belittling your desire to give your dh something, but I think the idea of a letter is not cheesey at all. When I was having therapy for PND the therapist asked us both to write a letter telling him (the therapist) what we wanted. When he showed me dh's letter I burst into tears, astonished at the depth of feeling in my stolid, British, unemotional dh, at how attuned he was to me, and at how important I was to him. I don't think it was the PND speaking, because I'd already began to turn the corner by then.

A letter isn't cheesy, think that would be lovely.

Run a bath for him with candles, his fav mag and a beer / glass of wine and offer to wash his back, wash his hair etc

Leave him notes where he'll find them throughout the week telling him he's fab, you love him etc

give him a foot rub

make him a home made pie and cut out a big pastry heart and put it on top of the pie, or cut your initials out of pasty and put them on top of pie

buy him flowers

That is a lovely post, vanillamilkshake, and so is yours, PrettyCandles. Vanilla - you've already got a draft of your letter to him right there in your first post, if you decide to do that.

Definitely a heart felt letter, he can treasure

Thanks for the thought on what I could do - i am going to do a pie next week so the heart shape on top will be a good opener.

He's watching the football tonight so perhaps I can beak out the last can of beer I found lurking at the back to the fridge for him too!

I felt a bit silly for writing about him on here to begin with as in the past I have used the 'relationships' topinc to grumble about the IL's (when you compare DH to FIL - I often wonder about the family joke of him being the milkman's son and whether there's not some truth behind it (VMS gives chastises self)). But I just really wanted to find a way to tell him how important he is to me.

Prettycandles - glad to hear about you and your DH too!