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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Boyf watches porn!!

30 replies

Brunette28 · 28/07/2015 11:17

Hi ladies just wanted to ask if I'm being stupid or not. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and only discovered last night on my mans phone he has been watching porn videos. I know men are men but why does he need to watch it when he has me? And being pregnant it's just made me feel even more unattractive and low. He always said he didn't watch stuff like that so why is he now? Am I wrong to feel upset?

OP posts:

OooMatron · 28/07/2015 17:36

Men watch porn because they can. I eat ice cream, not because I'm hungry, but because I can.

LurcioAgain · 28/07/2015 18:58

But let's suppose you really really like ice cream, but your partner has just been warned by the GP that they're at risk of developing type 2 diabetes. They say to you they need to go on a healthy eating campaign and would really welcome your support trying to eat healthily, rather than sitting scarfing ice cream in front of them while they munch their way through carrot sticks. Surely ice cream wouldn't be more important to you than giving your partner the emotional support they needed.

I think the porn thing is the same. If you have a decent sex life with your partner, and they say that you using porn over and above this sex life is upsetting them emotionally, a reasonable person would at least give it a go at giving up the porn.

Joysmum · 28/07/2015 19:11

I think that analogy would work better if you were talking about vegetarian and a meat eater.

Both people have choices. Yes, the meat eater can choose to go veggie but it shouldn't be expected and the veggie has to decide if they can be with someone who doesn't share their values.

Likewise the meat eater has every right to get shirty at the veggie's view being imposed on them.

Both are entitled to their own views and it's up to both to decide whether the other's lifestyle and expectations of them is a deal breaker.

scatterthenuns · 28/07/2015 19:14

Been there Kingie!

CryingMummy · 29/07/2015 00:29

Started a very similar thread about this today, but, increasingly, in my case, I think the porn is a red herring (and, in my case, he has told me he has doubts about our relationship). I think it is all horrid and makes one feel so rubbish.

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