Online dating just isn't working for me

[Newbrummie]

But what's the alternative ?
I had a few dates with an old school friend I thought was going really well but tbh he has that much baggage and shit in his life when he said he didn't want a relationship I was quite relieved.
Where do we meet people these days ? And I'd include female friends as much as men because I've got none of them in real life either ð??©

Which OLD sites have you tried, though? Some are much better than others and there's no rule to it - it just seems to depend where in the country you are. There are loads of nice people on Ok Cupid where I am (I've met a few women friends through it and my mate's met some decent blokes too). But another friend elsewhere says for her it's utterly useless and she uses one of the others.

So it might be worth shopping around different sites.

If you 'include female friends' go to a MN meet up or organise one. I count lots of MNers RL friends and I live with one.

(Oh, and btw, I think to answer toasted's question, what's changed is that we are all online so much more now, for work or on facebook or whatever. So I think OLD has gone from being something you did if you felt absolutely driven to it, to something you do expecting to find people who are on the edge of your existing social circle anyway, or not far from it.)

'Interesting societal change though. Up until the early nineties 'Dating Agencies' were only for the desperate, there was a hint of shame or being a loser by joining. These days it's the height of fashion among the majority of people looking for a partner. I can't help but wonder what changed.'

I would say an awful lot of people realised that meeting someone that you have managed to ascertain is roughly on the same page as you with regards to values and interests over a no pressure coffee or drink is way preferable then 'going on the pull' in some club or bar. Women can be spared the sleazy chat up lines of some would be p*ssed up Lothario and the men don't have to go through the societal inflicted pressure and terror of crossing the room to 'make the first move'.

there are a few decent men on there also a lot of idiots

Sounds like Sturgeon's Law to me.

One of my theories on the increasing popularity of internet dating is that we don't "settle down" so early any more.

During school, university, work training schemes, or similar, you are thrown together with a largeish number of people of approximately your age.

If everyone picked a partner and stuck with them before age 21, there'd be no need for internet dating.

Instead, we break up with our school boyfriends or university boyfriends. Quite rightly, most people don't have the best understanding of who they are or what they want when they are 18.

Once you are into a career, you don't meet anywhere near the same number of new people on a regular basis, so you need to do something "on purpose" to find new people.

I would never have met anyone without OLD
I work alone. I'm a lone parent. I don't go out unless preplanned with friends so I wouldn't be chatting to men on those nights. Thank heavens for OLD.

I'm chatting to someone new who seems normal. Wish me luck

Good luck!

I wish you all the luck in the world I really do
The way I did my OLD was not to approach or look at anyone but to carry on my life which was very enjoyable but lonely all the same ( sometimes)
If I had a nice message I would reply.
You can 'date' online for ever whilst keeping your options open in RL. I don't see online dating as an either/or with real life. It just widens the net.
I found ok cupid the best. I have 5 friends who met their partners online!