Mummys boy problems

[Lovestruck007]

I'll try and keep this short and sweet. My bf and I have been together 6 years we met when I was 17. For a period of 3 years I moved in with him AND his mother and it was the worst experience I felt like she was always trying to push me out I'd go downstairs to make my bf lunch she would already be down there. My bf is 30 now. I moved out back to my parents home as it was too much to bear. I hated living at my bf just because of his mother although she was fakely nice I new her intentions of keeping g her soon at home (did I mention it was her who invited me to live with her in the first place), I know it was because she was scared of her son leaving her. Now at present I think 6 years is more than enough time to think about marriage and moving in together ALONE. He actually offered to move out with me whilst I go to university so I could have help paying bills, my hopes were brought up however a week later he said that his mum had a heart to heart and said he can go but she would be sad if he left. Now this comment was enough for him to turn around and refuse to move out with me although he proposed the idea. Now he doesn't speak of it any more,, I'm in a sticky situation as I have just been left when we had plans I'm just on the verge of leaving but somehow hoping he will change is keeping me there. When he gets angry he always says 'why would I leave my mum for you' comment like this hurt. He is genually a lovely guy but his mum always seems to come first (which I respect in some cases ) but he is 30. Stays at mums rent free. Has no responsibilty . I'm sick of it and dint know what to do??

[LovesYoungDream]

You want different things from a relationship and life. Do both yourself and him a favour, end it and move on

[Someone12345]

I know exactly how you feel about a mummy's boy, who just cant be independent and grow up.

[Aquamarine1029]

FFS, haven't you wasted enough of your life with this loser? You want to waste even more? Give your head a massive wobble and dump him.

[Lucy299]

@lovestruck007 in a smilar situation to you my partner is 31 and lives with his mum and I live alone.. I’ve seen a few posts saying it’s embarassing to live with your mum at 30 however I think this depends on where you live.. we live in London and it is very expensive to rent and almost impossible to buy for some young people I was lucky to have help from my parents when buying my flat so it’s really not unheard of for ppl to stay living with their parents till there a bit older.

That being said my situation is similar to yours but different.. your partners mum seems to not want him to leave where as I think mine would be very happy if he left. He clings to her craves love from her and approval from her she’s left him for men throughout his life for long periods of time he will now not let any men in the house whilst he is there.

That being said he has complete run of the house doesn’t pay rent but does pay the bills doesn’t have much respect for the house and will have his friends in smoking in doors etc something that could never happen in my house. He won’t eat any of my food will only eat her cooking he’s got her Involved in our Rship which she has seemed very reluctant to do but he has wanted her too.

I feel like I am also competing with her and I don’t feel he would ever move out of her house and live with me he stays here nearly every night but leaves for work in the morning and comes back in the evening after eating dinner at his house. He also spends every Sunday with her and I have never been invited. He seems to get jealous when his mum has relationships with other men.. refuses to meet them he is also like this with his sister very protective over both of them which you think would be the same with his rships with women too but he isn’t like that at all with me is really the complete opposite doesn’t questions where I go doesn’t seem to give a shit!

Totally get the no responsibility bit exactly the same as my partner. He has a lot of money saved but he refuses to spend it at all on anything what so ever he’s very tight and I can’t eee him ever wanting to pay rent when he lives rent free.

It’s a hard one because he shouldn’t need to chose between you and his mum but your his partner and he should be looking at building a life with you. Unfortunately some of these guys will never grow up there mums enable their behaviour and make it so why wound they want to leave when the mums will put up with anything and alllow things we may not

[showmeshoyu]

This thread is from 2015, they're practically drawing their pension by now.