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Original poster

do I reply to this and do I tell him?

62 replies

lou5a · 25/07/2015 23:32

I'm seeing a guy, we aren't official yet but think we will be soon. anyway, a friend of his always likes my Facebook and Instagram posts and he got my number through a friend over a year ago. the guy I'm seeing does get a bit miffed when he likes my things.

the guy has txted me tonight asking if I am out in town. he has a gf! I don't want to reply to him and I forgot I even had his number tbh, but I feel really sneaky now Incase my guy finds out he txted me and I haven't said anything.

what do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
lou5a · 26/07/2015 07:21

he's not a male friend though, he tried it on with me a year ago and I know that's what he wanted last night. I do have male friends!

OP posts:
DoreenLethal · 26/07/2015 07:29

Then why have you still got his number?

Original poster
lou5a · 26/07/2015 07:30

I honestly thought I'd deleted it, I have now!

OP posts:
OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 26/07/2015 07:42

Doesn't matter whether he's a friend or a complete stranger - the guy you're seeing has no right to be annoyed at YOU because of the actions of someone else. That's ridiculous and possessive, insulting and distrustful to you. And you're not even in an "official" relationship with him yet don't feel able to be open with him about someone sending you a text message?
Red flags flying everywhere, this does not have the makings of a healthy relationship. Step away now.

Cabrinha · 26/07/2015 08:46

So why are you "official"?
Why are you waiting for him to decide that?

BifsWif · 26/07/2015 08:52

A man that is not your boyfriend would 'go mad' because another man who apparently fancies you has text saying 'you out?'. You are not out, and you haven't replied.

I'm sorry, what's the problem?

If your non-boyfriend would be pissed off at this to the point where you feel you can't tell him, then you need to run walk away. Red flags everywhere.

Original poster
lou5a · 26/07/2015 08:56

I expect to be official soon, just none of us have ever mentioned being boyfriend/girlfriend! I don't see why this sounds strange...I'd be miffed if my friend texted him a text like that as he was only after one thing. He won't be mad at me, he would just be annoyed!

I haven't replied but I just feel a bit sneaky!

OP posts:
BifsWif · 26/07/2015 09:17

OP your post reads as if you couldn't tell him because he would go mad. Re-read it.

Either tell him, or delete it and forget about it. It's not like you text the other bloke first, I don't understand why he'd be pissed off?

Original poster
lou5a · 26/07/2015 09:23

I think I overreacted a bit.

I have deleted it and the number but i feel a little sneaky knowing that it was him, and he has a girlfriend, and not telling my guy. Anyway, it could have been anyone (assuming I deleted the number ages ago) but when we are official and his mate knows he texted me, I dunno, I'll feel a little strange!

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 26/07/2015 09:27

the guy I'm seeing does get a bit miffed when he likes my things Why? Why is your current boyfriend, who you aren't officially with yet, not like this other liking your posts?

Sounds like a red flag to me.

Just say no thanks to the other guy & rethink getting serious with someone who doesn't like me liking your posts.

differentnameforthis · 26/07/2015 09:27

*men, not me

flanjabelle · 26/07/2015 09:27

you sound like you are loving the drama of it tbh.

Omg! 2 guys fancy You! Lets make it into the biggest thing to ever happen!

Or you could just ignore the text and get on with your life...

KinkyAfro · 26/07/2015 09:28

Why on earth do you feel sneaky?

Original poster
lou5a · 26/07/2015 09:30

because it's his best friend trying it on with me, and he has a girlfriend of almost one year. I aren't loving the drama of it at all :S my guy gets annoyed because he has a girlfriend and I'd feel a bit jealous if a girl constantly liked his things too....I really don't see what's wrong with that. no he's not my boyfriend as such but that's only because we've not spoke about it and I'm sure it will happen soon.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 26/07/2015 09:31

You are already scared of your 'not official' boyfriend finding out that another man asked you out..that isn't normal, op!

&cause he will wonder why I still have his number saved I guess? I dunno, it's what I would think. so you both have trust issues?

BifsWif · 26/07/2015 09:38

Fair enough, Id mention it to him in passing but not make a big deal of it.

Either that or message the guy back to tell him not to contact you again - I think his original text sounds innocent enough, but what would he have said if you HAD been out and bumped into him? If he makes you feel uncomfortable either tell him to back off, or tell the man you're seeing.

Original poster
lou5a · 26/07/2015 09:41

I know it wasn't innocent, I know he would have expected something and if I was out and bumped into him he certainly wouldn't have gotten it! I think i need to just forget it :)

OP posts:
thornrose · 26/07/2015 09:46

You really do sound like one of my dd's friends. She's in Year 10!

How can anyone be jealous of the word like on a thing on FB? Confused

FenellaFellorick · 26/07/2015 09:48

I am so glad I am too old for this shit. It sounds exhausting. Give me my dull old 41 year old, cooking, cleaning, managing teens, 9-5 life any day of the week Grin I wouldn't go back to those years if you paid me. It's a hormone ruled, drama filled, weeping in the pub loos mess.

You are dating a bloke quite casually. He has a friend who texted you. This is no big deal. You could have just texted back "no, I don't think that's appropriate. I certainly don't think your girlfriend would like it. Don't contact me again"

Job done.

Or you could have thought nah, I'm not interested, and not thought anything more of it.

As an aside, it is not a good thing for you to be going omg omg my fella's going to go MAD that another boy texted me.

I mean, it might feel exciting to you or proof that he is really 'into' you but truth be told, a man seeing you as his possession and going 'mad' at the thought of another man communicating with you is not a good or exciting thing. Mature men see women as their equal and expect that they will be able to deal with interactions themselves and set their own boundaries and what seems exciting to you now will in time reveal itself to be quite restricting and unpleasant.

Original poster
lou5a · 26/07/2015 09:54

I'm just gonna ignore it!

OP posts:
SkatesMcgee · 26/07/2015 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raffle · 26/07/2015 10:11

But all he sent in the text message was "are you out?"

There is a huge chance that he ment both of you

He is your soon-to-be boyfriends best mate after all Confused

Marmaladybird · 26/07/2015 10:27

It's not really a relationship problem is it? I'm struggling to see this as a problem at all.

You have a 'kind of' boyfriend and someone text you asking if you 'were out' and you think that your 'kind of' boyfriend won't like it but you haven't mentioned it so you don't know.

Not really anything to unravel there, is there?

category1 · 26/07/2015 10:27

@raffle No, he'd have texted her not-boyfriend if he wanted to see them as a couple.

Original poster
lou5a · 26/07/2015 10:30

it wasn't just a text to see if I was out, I know exactly what he meant.

I think I over reacted slightly last night but I don't see how people can say there isn't a problem with it either :-/ I know that if my best friend texted him then I'd be annoyed! not at him - but I'd be annoyed about it.

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