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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling guilt for ex's happiness

4 replies

MsPepsi · 25/07/2015 16:57

Ex had an affair and left me a few years ago. I got on with my life etc. he comes back and has changed loads wanting me back. He has worked hard to be the man I want, but I don't want him.

He's in a bad place, disowned his friends when the affair came out and he has no life. I think he's depressed.

His loneliness has led to him pushing for more contact with our dd - it's already pretty much equal. I've felt pressured in to agreeing to this due to the guilt of me not wanting to give it a go.

How come I stop caring about him in this way?

OP posts:
cheapskatemum · 25/07/2015 17:15

I don't want to read & run, but could you just clarify to me what you're asking? I'm not sure whether it's a typo and you're asking "How can I stop caring about him in this way?"

Hissy · 25/07/2015 17:22

Remember who he was when he left you? How he had no guilt, or consideration. For you then...

Agree only to what suits you. If it doesn't, just go back to him and say you prefer to refert to previous arrangements. 50/50 maximum.

MsPepsi · 25/07/2015 17:34

Sorry cheapskatemum yes it was a typoConfused

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 25/07/2015 17:39

Having been deserted by him you may be flattered by his attention but after what he did to you and his child I would have zero time and respect for this loser.

Keep your distance and move on.

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