Is perimenopause private or open to ils input?

[StepfordwifeamI]

My dh has just returned from staying with his whole clan (we live abroad) and apparently the word is I should be getting hrt for my moods and stroppyness! Not that it was worded like this by dh, more like his db "suffered terribly" due to his wife's early onset and poor dh, who is his mum's special snowflake (pushing 50!!!) should not be subjected to something so easily curable.
Part of me snorts at how preposterous their attitude is (don't know how many were actually involved in this decision making, pils? Db? Dsil? My dsc?) as there is a history of mh issues, alcohol abuse and lots of pill popping in his original family that has been made known to me and then conveniently glossed over when someone wins at golf or some other completely irrelevant yet vaguely glamorous shit.
Another part of me knows that dh can be a real arse to secure a comfortable life by making out random others (exw) are really to blame for shortcomings.
Let me just point out the huge enormous impact my fluctuating hormone levels have had on our relationship: my periods which may now be stronger and last longer means less sex on demand. That's it. No hot flushes, no weird behaviour (except taking less BS and becoming more assertive in general
Should perhaps have posted in AIBU or health thread instead, but I read about so many dh/ ils related matters here, I thought I'd try here first.
Thanks xx

I agree the message from him or his Ils is out of order BUT did he actually discuss your periods or did he maybe suggest that all was not harmonious in the Stepford household and his DM putting 2 and 2 together and making 6, came up with the notion that it's 'all your age, dear' and that he ought to tell you to take HRT.
I can't actually see any evidence in your post that your cycles were discussed in detail - are you assuming that?
More like he's moaned that he's unhappy and they have all nodded ' ah menopausal wife...get HRT'.

In either event, it sounds as if the marriage is teetering on the edge for all kinds of reasons.

I agree with everyone else. I've been bought up being able to talk to my parents about anything, and am bringing my daughter up to be the same.

Only on MN would it be deemed that you could never talk to a friend or parents about issues

Your DH's family are not the problem here. Your DH didn't need to tell you about what they'd been discussing, but he did, didn't he? And why's that? To give you a clear signal that you are unacceptable in some way and that he's backed up by his family.

^ This ^

My Ex used to tell me what others he thought of me, cowardly twat. This was one of the many little things that I chose to ignore at the time but it was part of a wider pattern of selfish entitlement.

Raging at his family is your way of distracting yourself from the inadequate man your married to.