Hey Mumsnet
I'm very new to this site, with only signing up this morning as really need advice. I know I'll get some kinda backlash but I'm ready for it.
For the past year We have had a new general manager on site, seemed nice to meet but once in workplace, was a nightmare, always shouting, nothing was ever good enough. Never spoke to our team, if so only to pick fault... Until February this year, when something went wrong and I owed up that, indeed it was me that caused the problem. He took me into the office and thanked me for been honest and open and since then our working relationship has changed. He's more fun to be around, He speaks to us more openly now, he's trying to be apart of the team and I can see a lot of things from his point of view. We even started to text outside of work and not always about work.
Our team have social nights, which we invite the whole team, including management. Few weeks ago we had a said night out in which our boss agreed to come along too. It started off that he hardly spoke to me, we sat opposite sides of the table and only said hello. Over the course of the night, I was involved in a conversation with work friends when he came and sat to my side, so close that when he moved his hand it was brushing off My side and my leg which at first felt weird cos he's not a touchy person and goes lengths to avoid touch and there was plenty of space in the seating area to avoid touch. At one point he put his hand on my knee to help him lean over. As the drinks started to flow, he asked if I wanted another drink and asked me to go to the bar with him, so I did. At the bar we got talking about work and just general things, having a good laugh, yes maybe a bit flirting too, which must of got noticed as a random man at the bar commented "you's two should get a room" to which we laughed off and I said he's my boss.
As the night progressed, the more touchy feely we became, linking arms, hugs (I do this to everyone when one to many is had), we talked about how kids were, if I was enjoying work etc then me telling him that I thought he didn't listen to what I was saying about troubles at work and that he didn't like me as a work colleague to which he replied "I listen to you, more then you know I do, and I do like you, your one of my favourites" which I laughed off due to him getting abit tipsy, the other lasses who we were out with were joking on with him, lifting his top and stroking his belly which he laughed at. As the night continued in the nightclub, it was only me, him and another work colleague (who was drunk) we started to dance together, holding hands. Leaning against each other. I told him "I always got what I wanted "and he said "yeah I know you do"! (This was due to something that happened at work.) When waiting for a drink at bar, I started to run my nails up and down his back, which he enjoyed, asking me to do it again when I stopped, I continued on to his stomach and chest, which he liked also. We headed back to the dance floor and found the lass we were left with. As the song "hold my hand" came on, me and my boss held hands and were dancing and sing the song to each other, when he kissed me, not full on but a on one the lips. I was quite taken aback by it and walked off to loos, when I came back out he was watching for me and smiled when I got closer, asked if I was ok and just said yes... What was I suppose to say and do, I enjoyed it! I stood by my friend who was at this point practically falling over waiting for her boyfriend to come and take her home, he was asking if she was alright and if we wanted help and again was stood so close, I looked up and kissed him, he pulled back and asked what was that? He smiled and came back to kiss me, But this time my friend was looking when it happened and I just laughed it off to her but I felt something, I knew I wanted this to happen and if she hadn't been watching I would of kissed him more and not just a quick kiss.
My heads been all over the place this last week or so, we've had to work together to finalise the end of the working year, he's not mentioned nothing about that night out, never mind the kiss, he's spoke the odd word to me and called me "LauraLou" (a nickname that I've never been called) to get my attention. So I thought I would try and forget about it... But I can't :(. The drunken friend can remember us kissing but she only seen him kiss me... The once, I said that I couldn't remember it happening as don't want to be known as the girl that kisses the boss but I just can't stop thinking of the kiss and that I felt something. Now I am scared that I have ruined not only working relationship but our friendship too. I know he is much to blame as me but I can't stop thinking about it.
Neither of us are married but have children from previous relationships.