As some know, I have a shockingly poor body image as a result of my mother's input. I try really hard not to say anything in front of my children that could cause the same.
My daughter is 9. She never talks about being 'pretty' or 'fat'. She is aware that healthy is important and healthy isn't about being thin.
She talks about her qualities aside from appearance and is focused on her body being 'strong' and healthy, and it's capabilities rather than appearance.
I'm experiencing pressures from certain quarters to not pass on my own insecurities (I'm trying really hard and I don't see any of the signs) but I also worry that I'm missing them.
But I'm also getting pressure from the same people to pass on good relationship models to my children.
I've made a decision to be single now. The calibre of man I'm able to attract is shockingly poor. I'm intelligent and educated, I think I'm a decent person, but socially, I struggle generally. And in relationships, well I fail miserably.
On the rare occasions I do attract a man who is similar to me, they turn out to be married or not think I'm good enough for them.
So I'm finding it difficult to show her that I am, and therefore she is, deserving of loving/respectfful relationships/friendships, because I am not.
I'm at a point now where I wouldn't tell someone I thought they were attractive, not because I fear rejection, but because I think it will make them doubt themselves if they think they're attracting people like me.
For these people who are commenting, being single isn't really a viable option either.
I also worry about teaching her that looks aren't important and to be body confident if she is just going to be disappointed when she grows up, enters the real world and realises that she is judged by her looks/weight/size/appearance anyway.
I know this is garbled. There's just a lot from a few people that I can't separate out.