I have been a carer for more than half my adult life. Dm lost my dad when I was very early twenties, she had me late in life and developed arthritis twenty years ago. I've always helped out, as have my two siblings to a slightly lesser degree. As well as working full time and being a single parent for a while. Mum is now badly disabled and after more than 5 years of having to visit almost daily, cut short holidays and abandon hopes of weekend breaks, etc she now has full time carers. I still visit often, but no longer have to do lots of the physically hard work of caring. I can even take a holiday. My dc is now in her late teens and doesn't need me as much. Dh has told me in the ten years we've been together that my took up a lot of our marriage (which is true) and that he looked forward to having more of a life together. Ok, mil was recently widowed , she lives in another country and is only in her seventies and in good health. Dh is very much a mummy's boy and adores her. He has now started saying she can't be left alone (depressed) and has invited her here. I don't mind this, although our house is tiny. But I know I'll do the lions share of looking after her during her visit. We are also visiting her for a few weeks & dh has already told me she will come everywhere with us as he worries she'll be lonely. She lives with my sil, so is not alone. Am I being selfish in not wanting to look after another elderly relative? I would help in any emergency but I'm sick of being a carer and long to have a bit of a life doing what I want for once. Dh thinks I owe him for all the time I had to spend looking after my mum, and now he should make the rules. Sorry for long post.