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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help for parents with a depressed teenager

5 replies

Imbroglio · 19/07/2015 08:54

I don't want to talk about the details as its my child private stuff, not for me to share, but I am really worried about my son.

He's over 18. He's been to the GP, on medication, and is seeing a counsellor. But he's so down and its been going on for a year. None of the positive things I set in place seem to be helping and he can sense my frustration. I could really do with some advice as to how to help him.

Has anyone found any good parenting advice on this sort of thing?

OP posts:
nequidnimis · 19/07/2015 09:25

I'm sure someone helpful will be along soon but in the meantime you might find some support in Teenagers (in Being a Parent) where I know there are parents dealing with similar issues.

There's also a Mental Health (in Health) topic that might be useful.

AndTheBandPlayedOn · 19/07/2015 13:01

My dd, now 21, has severe depression, anxiety, and other mh disorders. She has received treatment and counseling since she was 17.

Her life is very affected by this, to say the least. Sometimes we can not tell if her manner is from her condition or side effects from the medication-neither of which are her fault. It is very sad for her.

As a parent, it is hard to cope with and it is hard to understand. I did reach out and got counseling for myself which helped me a great deal.

In the kindest possible way, when you mention your frustration, well, your son's illness isn't about you, iyswim. He probably is not going to fit into 'normal' templates of what would generally be expected of someone who isn't ill.

Continue to support him by what you are doing-helping him get his meds and counseling. And try to focus on living in the present-day to day reality of his condition. If your son is refusing to participate in his own recovery, then you may need to have him switch counselors.

Pagwatch · 19/07/2015 13:08

It's unbelievably hard but I agree with AndTheBandPlayedOn.

You have to let go of your frustration. His happiness is not about you. We always feel desperate to make it right but we can't - he has to find his way through it , find what works for him.

How open is he to talking with you? How does he feel about the things you put in place.
There can be a danger in focussing so much upon the depression that we cease to just act normally and the pressure to get healthy must be burdensome

DeckSwabber · 19/07/2015 13:22

Thanks andtheband.

DeckSwabber · 19/07/2015 13:33

Oops! nc fail.

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