So fucked off with organising everything

[Onedayinthesun]

Been together 17 years, love on another but I'm increasing pissed off to be the one that always books the holiday, theatre, restaurants, date nights and anything remotely spontaneous

I would never leave the house if it wasn't me organising and booking nights out, day trips or holidays. I have tried to explain to DH that it would be nice for him to take the lead and although he promises to - never does. And it is starting to get on my fucking nerves. It makes me feel like he doesn't value time together with me, it makes me feel like he doesn't care enough to make an effort and to be honest it makes me feel like our relationship is Dull.

[ElizaPickford]

God, sympathies, my DH is like this. He wasn't at the beginning but he makes virtually no effort now. I did kick off about it so he said for my last birthday he was going to take me out for the day to somewhere I've wanted to go for years.

10 months on am still waiting.

Hope he pulls his finger out, watching with interest...

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

www.amazon.co.uk/Wifework-Susan-Maushart/dp/0747561729?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Definitely worth a read. If you search "wifework" on here there are some old threads about it too.

As someone now in the early stages of a relationship/have been dating over the last few years, it's definitely influenced how I approach relationships and that I expect my partner to share the relationship/life "admin" right from the start. If they didn't, things would fizzle out anyway as they were quickly deeply unattractive to me!

[ShebaShimmyShake]

That is exactly what you should do. If he is allowed X hours every week away from home responsibilities, then so are you.

[pointythings]

I organise everything too - the difference is that he wouldn't dream of going off on a day when we have plans and leave me to do all the prepping - in fact he'll be the one making sure everyone has enough clean cloths, organising the packing and planning holiday finances/money for snacks and treats. Those are his strengths, the organisation is mine and we work as a team. Your DH on the other hand is a knob.