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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheating boyfriend?

6 replies

Abbi1411 · 17/07/2015 10:40

Im just over 5 months pregnant and I broke up with my boyfriend on Wednesday because I found out that he was cheating. He stayed over at my house Tuesday evening so i thought perfect, now i can see what you're up to because you don't bother to see me and hardly call or text me. I can tell you it was up to 5-10 different females. When i went through his messages id see things from him to this one girl in particular ''ill be over yours 5/6 babe'' and messages from her like ''Have a good day baby'' I went through his pictures too and saw a picture of him and this girl in his bed. I know it was her because i searched the girls name on his Facebook friends and her face popped up. Other messages from different girls like ''You forgot your keys in my car'' ''I forgot my necklace could you pick it up for me'' There were also messages to several other women asking them out to meet up for drinks, or to take them out. It was so hurtful but I wasn't too surprised. I ended up sleeping in another room that night and waited for him to leave that morning. And I texted him the next morning to say it was over and explained why. he tried to deny it until i sent screen shots and the picture of him and that girl. I really don't know what else to do, I'm so down.

OP posts:
TokenGinger · 17/07/2015 10:52

At least you've found this out now. Take this time to heal and prepare for your baby. Please don't take him back. He's a serial cheat. He isn't ready to be a grown-up yet.

Abbi1411 · 17/07/2015 11:29

The thing is, I don't know how to heal. I feel absolutely broken. He was my first serious boyfriend, the one I lost my virginity to. I feel so betrayed. I don't know how I'm going to build a civil relationship with him for the sake of our son.

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pocketsaviour · 17/07/2015 11:33

I'm sorry, what a horrible way for you to find out.

Does he have any other DC, to your knowledge? Do you think he will be an engaged father or does your instinct tell you he won't bother with the baby?

Abbi1411 · 17/07/2015 11:39

He has a 3 year old son. I don't know what to expect from him, he rarely financially supports his other son to my knowledge and rarely see's him twice a week or a month if he bothers. He explained that his relationship with the other girl was nothing serious but she got pregnant because she missed a pill but decided to keep the baby. now he is spouting all this BS to me saying he loves me and wants to be here for myself and this baby. But I honestly don't think he will be consistent which will aggravate me.

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TokenGinger · 17/07/2015 11:49

Healing is a long process. It hurts. Small steps are to not engage with his begging. Just say to him that you no longer want a relationship with him but will speak civilly with regards to your son.

This will never work out with him. It's not like it was a "mistake" affair where he'd developed feelings for somebody and tried to fight it. He was fucking different girls left, right and centre. You'd never be able to trust him on nights out etc.

With regards to him being a father, it sounds like he won't be great either, going off him current situation of being a father.

Abbi1411 · 17/07/2015 12:04

Yeah I hear what you're saying. He is such a hypocrite and a liar. The thing is, when saw messages between other girls with him flirting and stuff a couple months ago, his excuse was 'it's an ego thing, I just do it to know that I can still pull'' or whatever he said. he also said he'd stop. from then on thats when he'd take his phone with him, put a password on his phone, deleted messages.

I just hope that he doesn't try to fight for joint custody because I won't let him take his son away for a day or a weekend until he's a lot older(if he bothers) he's really irresponsible. I just have a feeling that the whole thing is going to turn very bitter.

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