Is dh emotionally involved?

[roundandround]

Have changed my name as dh often reads these threads, but would really like to get something clear in my head, dh has been contacted by a work colleague for advice via email, and although the several emails were all work related stuff, he did state that he was really looking forward to seeing her soon, and told her that it is really important to him that she is ok, he also addressed her as "Hi gorgeous" in one of the emails, although there was nothing intimate in any of her emails. Do you think this is a normal friendly relationship/flirting (dh is very flirty around female work colleagues) or do you think he is emotionally involved with this person?

I would be concerned.

I am not overly concerned with the "Hi gorgeous" it is more about him wanting her to know that whether she is ok/happy matters to him, and that he wanted her to know how much he was looking forward to seeing her etc

I would be as well if it were my dh because he's v. formal at work, due partly to his nature and partly to a corporate policy of non sexual harrasment etc.
However, my dh isn't yours and maybe that's just his style. The fact that you're asking indicates that you feel uncomfortable, so I'd raise it with him or at least keep an eye on the email.

I'd be concerned, go by your gut feeling.

I think you must have had some kind of suspicion, otherwise you wouldn't have been reading his email?

I have some v flirty male friends who write this kind of stuff - in personal email. I don't think it's appropriate to work email even if innocent.

Hard to say without knowing what has been said outside the emails, but I would be a bit creeped out if I were this woman, and straightforward requests for info were being responded to in such a way. Flirting is one thing, but it needs to be reciprocated!

Work e-mails should not ideally start with "hi gorgeous" because it can be so easily misconstrued by the receiver however innocent. His flirting needs to be toned down now because it could get him into serious trouble. He is at work and should act in a professional, friendly manner to all colleagues.

I wonder also about his concern for her well being; surely such concern should be directed at you instead. You are his wife after all. His primary loyalty should therefore be to you.

The email was sent to his personal email address, but I have been on my guard since a while ago when another female work colleague described him as a sleaze to her boyfriend who was also a colleague and he subsequently blanked dh. Dh claimed that this girl exaggerated what he had said (although he admits to flirting with her)to get back at her bf as he treated her badly. He told me he flirts to boost his ego, as he has felt rejected by me in the past.

Oh dear, another one blaming someone else for their daftness.
You'd think that after being described as a sleaze, he'd be more careful. Doesn't really sound like this other woman is giving him any encouragement, so it's probably nothing to worry about for now, but he really needs to be careful, he could be in trouble for his rather smarmy style....

The ?hello gorgeous? wouldn?t bother me. Even the concern for her wellbeing/happiness wouldn?t bother me. I have several male friends, who I?ve known for years. They?ve been there for me at times when no-one else has, and I?ve been there for them at times when no-one else has. Their happiness/wellbeing is important to me, I want them to be happy, and fulfilled, if I knew any of them were going through a hard time I would make the effort to be there, be it through email/text/phone, but because they are my friends, and for no other reason. I wouldn?t have an emotional relationship with any of them even if we were all single, so I really don?t see a problem with that aspect. But what would concern me is:

From your pov: why does your dh feel that he is rejected by you? Why does he feel the need to flert with other women to boost his ego? Why does he not feel that he is getting that boost at home?

From your dh?s pov: why are you reading his personal emails and checking up on him to see what he is writing and to who?

It sounds to me as if this goes far deeper than just a bit of flerting with a work colleague, it seems to me as if there are some serious communication issues in your own relationship. It sounds as if your dh feels unappreciated, and that you are untrusting/insecure. You could possibly both benefit from sitting down and having a long and honest discussion about the things that are missing in your relationship, because IMO there are issues on both sides that need to be addressed.