Hello, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is also 18. He's done a few things which I think I'm abusive but I'm not 100% sure. When these things happen, I can objectively see that they could be classed as abuse but I don't know, i don't really feel like I'm being abused abused if that makes sense? And I don't think he realises that what he's doing is wrong? So i'm unsure.
Some of the things that have happened:
- He won't take no as an answer. When I do say 'no' to him for whatever reason, he becomes moody, petulant and very argumentative.
- I was supposed to go to his house one day but I ended up not going as I was too tired. He was very angry. He was tired too (for the same reason) but he managed to wake up early and make an effort and clean his house in preparation. I understand that this is annoying and i was wrong, but his reaction was quite extreme. He said he considered 'never talking to me again' and when I offered to go the next day, he said he didn't want to look at my face. He calmed down after a few hours but I was quite shocked at his extreme reaction to (what I thought) was a small issue. I'm still unsure about this incident. Maybe I WAS wrong and he had a right to be extremely irritated?
-Before we had the 'defining the relationship' talk, he made out with his ex while drunk at a party. He knew it was wrong because he called me that very night to explain and apologise. I ended things the next day, but we still talked every day. One of the conversations we had was really odd. He said he was unsure of his feelings, was confused and sometimes when he expressed his feelings, he wasn't sure what he actually felt and whether he was kidding himself or not. He later came said that he was wrong and begged for another chance. I agreed as I felt (and still feel) like he was being genuine. However, he sometimes 'jokes' about how much he hates me and my 'stupid face'. He probably is just joking but when he does, I can't help but remember the conversation we had.
I feel stupid typing this and I know that if a friend was in this situation and came to me for advice I would tell them that it really wasn't worth it. I know that I should probably end things, but I suffer from depression and anxiety and he really does make me happy (when we're not having a petty argument). I think he genuinely likes me and he doesn't do any of this on purpose. He also really cares and tries to help with the depression thing but fails (because he's not a very empathetic person), but it's the thought that counts right? I'm really confused.