First time posting here so thank you for reading.
I've been having issues in my marriage for about 2 years now. DH was getting distant and cold with me, but whenever i would try to talk to him about it, he'd say everythig is fine, our marriage is great, it's all in my head. Last year i got pregnant with our 3rd baby. The timing was difficult, he had a lot of stress at work and i felt like our marriage needed improvement before having another baby. The pregnancy was beautiful but my emotional state was at it's worse. I was so deeply depressed, i cried every day. Relationship was getting worse, lack of intimacy, lack of physical affection, lack of emotional support. We had some conversations about it, biggest one after the baby was born. He blamed everything on work and stress this time and some things on me, but said he will fix it. Nothing has changed and my anger and resentment just kept growing. Im having difficulty controling my emotions as a result, but felt that if I keep talking about it, we'll just have another fight, and if i keep it inside, it will eat me up. So yesterday i finally couldn't hold it in anymore and completely blew up on DH with my every thought and feeling, lots of it was said with sarcasm. I must add that all our serious conversations and fights take place via text mssgs, for some reason we can express ourselves better that way. He seemed to shot down after, came home very late and slept on the couch.
As bad as i feel for exploding on him like that, i feel very liberated and just plain good for getting it out of my system... Is that weird?
Where do i go from here. I feel like i need to apologize, but i feel like that will just take me to square one and it will be all my falt and nothing will get fixed.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!