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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Has anyone here ended up Happy Ever After??

71 replies

TwoNoisyBoys · 14/07/2015 22:06

Just that really. I understand by the nature of this board, that it's going to feature problems in relationships, but having been a bit up and down myself lately, I wonder if anyone really is happy, hopefully for ever after? I don't think I know one genuinely happy couple :(
(Sorry for the gloomy tone....just feeling a bit gloomy tonight and would love to hear some positive stories)

OP posts:

andthenagain · 14/07/2015 22:57

Been with DH since 1980 when we were teenagers--3DC's and 1 DGC later we are still together. Our parents were so against us getting married so young (and l must admit l look at my DD's and say don't get married too young ) but we did prove them wrong and they admit it.
He is my best friend/my other half and he drives me nuts a lot of the time but l wouldn't swap him for anything except Jonny Depp !!

SirVixofVixHall · 14/07/2015 23:00

I'm happy with DH. Twenty years and a tricky start (we split after a year and had a year apart). I think this is the happiest we have been together. We've done all the aurguments!

SeraOfeliaFalfurrias · 14/07/2015 23:02

DH and I have been together for 17 years, married for 13. He is my best friend, soulmate and the one who completes me. We've only ever had 3 rows in our entire relationship, which I put down to us both being very open with each other, and both of us fully willing and able to truly listen, think about each other's viewpoint, admit we're wrong and work together to a compromise. He's funny, generous, great in bed and does his share of housework/childcare without even considering it not his job.

It's no good settling for someone who isn't right with the idea that they'll do, or they'll change, or they're better than being alone. Being alone is always better than being in the wrong relationship. In many ways I think the only way a person ever finds the absolutely right person is when they are truly happy with their own company and stop looking to anyone else to fulfil them. I love DH with all my heart and I absolutely want him in my life. But I don't need him.

Kahlua4me · 14/07/2015 23:12

Dh and I have been together 15 years, married for 11, and I still get butterflies every time I see his car coming down our road!

We run a business together so spend lots of time together. Rarely argue, but if we do it is sorted out calmly and quickly, never lasts long. I think it works because we have respect for each other and the same outlook on life.

DramaAlpaca · 14/07/2015 23:14

Yes, married 25 years and we are happy.

sootballs · 14/07/2015 23:21

Married six years this year but together almost ten. We have two amazing dds and a lovely home. Marriage has not been easy, there have been some very rough patches indeed and at time DH has acted like an utter tosser.

But then I have had placed huge demands on out family life with a year lost to depression. Now that I am 'better' we are giving each other more dedicated time and looking forward to the next 10 years.

80sMum · 14/07/2015 23:23

Dh and I have been together for 39 years. Had our ups and downs, good years and bad years along the way but still hanging on!

coffeeisnectar · 14/07/2015 23:23

My parents met aged 16/18 and have been married 51 years now.

I first met dp when I was 16. I was in the church choir at a wedding...He was the best man. I got talking to him after (I knew the groom and his family) and it turned out he was 27. I saw him a few times but my age was a factor. Two years later I rang him out of the blue with a feeble excuse asking him if he'd give me a lift to buy riding boots as the shop was near his work. We were together for two years and then I ended it.

Three years ago, single for six years, I looked him up on Facebook and sent him a message asking him how life was. A week later he'd booked me onto a flight to come and see him and three months later he proposed and me and my kids moved 450 miles back down south to be with him. Life's been good, we've had a lot to deal with but he's the man I should have married 30 years ago and I've never really stopped loving him.

avocadotoast · 14/07/2015 23:36

DH & I met when we were 14 and 16. Got together a year later, on and off for a bit, split up when I was 16 and he had gone to uni.

We stayed friends and then several years later he ended up moving back to our home city. We got together a few months after that, when I was 23. Four years on we've been married just over 18 months and have a beautiful baby girl

AnImpalaCalledBABY · 15/07/2015 00:37

I know most couples have their ups and downs but we really haven't, no fights no bad patches no resentments or cross words no unhappy times (though there have been things outside of our relationship that have been difficult- illness, bereavement etc)

I really didn't think it was possible to be so happy with one person with no down side until I met DH, I though you had to take the rough with the smooth and that as long as there were more good times than bad things were ok. I never imagined that it could be so much better than that and that it would all be so effortless

I only hope our dc find the same amount of happiness

Original poster

TwoNoisyBoys · 15/07/2015 04:42

Some of these stories are really lovely.....thank you all so much.

OP posts:

madwomanbackintheattic · 15/07/2015 05:06

22 years so far although I hadn't actually realised that until I read the thread, despite having two teenagers and an almost teen.
He was blown up 14 years ago and given a 20% chance of survival because of a brain injury. We then had dd2 who was brain damaged by a birth injury. Oh, and we emigrated. So it's not all been roses, but we battle on through and we are both still here.
My parents have been together for 47 years - we are just amateurs.

MadAngryGnome · 15/07/2015 05:21

I can count the number of genuinely happy couples I know on one hand (as far as I can guess, I suppose no-one really knows what goes on in a relationship). I include me and DH in that.

Been together 9 years, married for 5, 1 DC so far. He's the best man I've ever known, kind, gentle and strong, and my best friend and partner in crime. We often comment how lucky we are to have each other when we hear about other relationships on the rocks.

velocityofbeans · 15/07/2015 05:33

I met my DP when I was 17, we've been together 28 years in October. 4 dc and 1 dgc later, we seem to still love each other, yes. There have been some ups and downs, I think because I grew up a bit while he was already an adult, but so far we have managed to work our way through the downs and enjoyed the ups. I can honestly say I can't imagine us ever not being together

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 15/07/2015 06:00

Been married 33 years, and no sometimes not been a bed of roses, I'm sure there are many things that get on both our nerves. But love each other very much and looking forward to the next 30.
Mum and dad had the happiest marriage I know of, 40 years, mums heart broke when he died.

lavendersun · 15/07/2015 06:15

We are very very happy, 14 years on. We were both long term singletons in our mid 30s when we met. We choose to spend all our spare time together and have lots of shared interests. Very alike in some ways, completely the opposite in others.

Like ohwhat, really looking forward to growing old together (with more spare time to do it).

FadedRed · 15/07/2015 06:25

Together nearly 42 years, married nearly 40. Laugh every day, occasionally 'disagree' but very few proper rows. Not been easy at times, hard work, sad times, but very supportive of each other. We both have habits that irritate the other at times, but learned to live with them. Do lots together but also have time to ourselves. Sense of humour is so important, and not getting into the habit of running each other down, we loathe other couples bickering in company, sometimes I wish people would just listen to themselves a bit more.
Don't even want to imagine what life would be like without DH.

Trumpton · 15/07/2015 06:31

We met in 1969 the first week we were at college in London. Friends for two years then went for a drink and ,reader, I married him !

We lived together from our first date and have been together for 44 years , married 40 years next month.

I would trust him with my life and know that he feels the same, we have 3 DC and 2 GDC.

tumbletumble · 15/07/2015 06:31

We've been together for 18 years, married for nearly 12 with three wonderful DC. I love DH so much and I tell him so all the time. We went through a rough patch when the DC were very young (tired, not enough quality time together, all the usual stuff) but worked our way through it. He's lovely!

Timetoask · 15/07/2015 06:42

Here here.
Together since 1997 married for 13 years. I don't believe in the soul mate idea. We love each other, want the best for each other, we are not selfish with each other (as in if you have that I want the same, but rather what can I do to help you), equal values, although very different taste in music which is the only thing I'd change!
It took me years to truly believe my luck (used to have low self esteem).
We trust each other 100%, had verydifficukt few years (child with SN), but we'll be together for ever.

Footle · 15/07/2015 06:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skiptonlass · 15/07/2015 07:43

Yes, I am. Very happy with a genuinely lovely dh after many years of not at all abusive or bad but just slightly crap relationships.

I still don't believe my luck. Hope it works out for you too, op.

iamEarthymama · 15/07/2015 12:36

My lovely partner and I are in Greece on holiday, we have been together for 17 years and in CP for 3 years.
We drive each other insane, have some spectacular rows, but no-one knows me like she does and she loves me through thick and thin. I feel exactly the same about her.

We are fully aware of our good fortune in finding one another and overcoming much af the aggravation and prejudice that our relationship received in the early days.
I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else, we love the same things and are both eccentric and madly political. We share the same hobbies and like the same people, and love our families above all.

I worry as I am older than her but we will deal with that as and when the issue arises.

Thanks for this thread, it's good to remember how lucky we are x

penguinsaresmall · 15/07/2015 14:06

Yes, still very much in love

I was with a complete mind-fuck bastard before. When I finally left him I vowed to have some fun but stay single. Then I met DH, thought he was gorgeous, shagged him silly but was determined I wouldn't 'get involved' because I thought nobody could genuinely be that gorgeous and that nice

Dh spent the next six months proving me wrong. We got engaged six months later and married the year after that. 15 years and 3 DC later he is still my Mr Perfect; always supports me, makes everything better and still makes me go a bit funny when he gets home and grabs me for a smooch at the end of the day.

I do consider myself very lucky - I agree OP that I can hardly think of anybody (else) in RL who says they are truly happy in their relationships.

thegreylady · 15/07/2015 14:12

Yes both very very happy and in love. 26 years married both with disastrous first marriages. We 'blended' 5 teenagers, 2 dogs and 4 cats back in 1988 and it has been 'happy ever after'.
We don't quarrel much, we fall over ourselves to see the other's point of view, we share all money and property and our nine jint dgc.

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