Crazy bitch!

[Bexicle22]

This should probably be in the sexual health section but it's kind of relationship related so just going to stick it in here.

I got the contraceptive implant fitted at the beginning of April this year. I've had trouble with it in terms of constant and spontaneous bleeding, gaining weight, aching arm etc but I think it's turned me into a psycho.

In general, I'm quite a calm person. I have a hard time letting things go sometimes but I tend to stay in my own head and be angry in my mind, not physically. However, lately I have found myself becoming aggressive. A lot of it is being directed at my partner and I feel so terrible about it.

If something doesn't go my way or he says or does something I don't like no matter how small and insignificant, I've found myself really losing my shit. I've pushed furniture over, I've thrown things at the wall, I've slammed doors so hard I've damaged the plaster and door frames around it, I've even physically lashed out at him once or twice. All of these things are just not like me. It's like this red mist takes over and I can't see for being so angry and I will yell and scream and everything. I always feel so stupid and terrible afterwards. At the weekend, I wanted to have sex. But I'd decided I didn't want it to be the usual run-of-the-mill type sex, I wanted it to be, I don't know, different. Instead of doing what I normally would do, and what any sane person would do, which is either initiate said sex or, if it wasn't happening, get over it and try again the next day, I started screaming at my partner, sobbing at times, slamming doors, throwing stuff at the walls... It was so uncalled for and unnecessary but I just couldn't stop myself from losing it. Afterwards I felt horrible, all he tried doing when I was raging at him was to talk calmly, telling me to come back to bed so he could cuddle me until I calmed down but I just kept yelling and being completely ridiculous.

Has anyone experienced this kind of thing coinciding with having the implant fitted? It's the only explanation I can think of because this person isn't me, I'm not aggressive at all and never have been except in these past few months. I feel so guilty that my partner is having to put up with my behaviour, I know it's wrong and I wish I didn't get that way but it's like I physically can't stop myself.

Yes, I almost got divorced when I had the implant in! It was 3 months of fricking hell. Took them that long to agree to take the darn thing out!

I have no experience of implants but if this is all that has changed in your life it would be reasonable to place the blame there. So have it removed asap.

I can recall the irrational anger when I was pregnant the first time, embarrassingly !! But it does not quite compare.

First of all you need to go and get the implant removed. Urgently!
It's clearly not agreeing with you. Hormones can have all sorts of effects on our bodies and this is definitely effecting you!

Secondly - have you ever felt like that before you had the implant fitted? I know you said before when you felt angry it was just inside your mind rather than physically but it's important to figure out whether it really is just the implant causing this behaviour or if the behaviour has always been there but the implant causes the 'release'. A bit like alcohol, I think if someone has anger issues whilst drunk then usually the anger was already there it's just the alcohol bringing it out of them.

But anyway - after you have it removed asap you need to have a think about other contraceptives. If this isn't agreeing with you then unfortunately a lot of other hormonal contraceptives are likely to disagree with you too.

I don't have much helpful advice I'm afraid but you need to get this sorted for your sake and your partners. You're putting yourselves in danger.

not with the implant but I did on the injection, I went completely fucking crazy, it was actually really scarey. I felt like I was losing my mind, it was so far from normal for me that it was frightening.

I never had it again and have never used hormonal contraception since for fear of a repeat. Oddly, this happened to me again when I was pregnant with DC3, never happened with the older 2 or the younger 3 but I was crazy when I was having her.

I knew I was doing it, I knew I was wrong but I just couldnt control it. Again, it was terrifying because I felt like I wasnt in control of my own mind.

I wouldn't say I have had anger issues before the implant, just really the regular kind of anger that pretty much everyone gets from time to time. I have been on the Pill in the past and I've had issues with hormones whilst on it, but more an emotional thing rather than anger issues. I found that on my pill free weeks I always felt a little more like me. I know that they are not eager about removing the implant though and like you to wait at six months or so (which is what the nurse who fitted it told me) My partner is really supportive in that he tries his best to reason with me, calm me down, talk things through, which must be difficult when someone is screaming in your face and throwing things at you, but I know that he will eventually get fed up and I don't want that to happen :(

i had this on the contraceptive pill. i felt like somebody else. it was awful. i also thought i was going mad and hated what i was becoming.

i would speak to your gp as soon as you can. good luck. hope you feel reassured its not you too

I've known several people who've had this reaction to the implant. Get to the doctors asap and explain that it's become so bad that you have damaged property and you're in danger of harming others and it needs to come out NOW. Don't take no for an answer.

Thanks everyone, I'm glad to see it's not just me that has had this kind of experience. What is the likeliness that they'll at least make it difficult for me to have removed? The nurse said to me that side effects such as bleeding and hormone issues tend to take around six months to straighten out so they're reluctant to remove it before then :/

It sounds like your body doesn't agree with hormonal contraceptives. I'm the same!

It's quite understandable really - you're putting a load of artificial hormones into your body that it then has to try and deal with and agree with. If you're reacting negatively to something then it's obviously not agreeing with you.
The fact you have had negative experiences with other hormonal contraceptives tell me you shouldn't be using them.

I've tried all sorts and they're just not for me. I haven't been on anything hormonal for 2 years now and I have never felt better! I used to be an emotional mess regardless of what I used.

Would it be an option for you to stop all hormonal contraceptives?

Not me, but my daughter - honestly it was like someone had flipped a switch the day she had hers put in. Thankfully she returned to her normal self after it was removed, so don't worry!

What is the likeliness that they'll at least make it difficult for me to have removed? The nurse said to me that side effects such as bleeding and hormone issues tend to take around six months to straighten out so they're reluctant to remove it before then

They might try and fob you off but that's only because of money.
At the end of the day it's your body! You decide what you want to put in/take out.

If they're really reluctant to remove it go to your local family planning clinic. But regardless the doctors can't refuse to remove it.

I had issues with various pills so stopped using them.

I was equally bad with everyone though, not just my DH. If you aren't as bad with everyone else then you're clearly capable of some control.

I think it's mostly aimed at my partner because it's him I spend most of my time with. When it comes to other people, I don't tend to slender enough time with them for them to do or say something that sets me off.

In terms of alternative contraception, isn't there a pill that contains only progesterone? I'm not sure if that's perhaps any better for someone who seems to struggle with extra hormones, I've never really looked into it. Has anyone tried these?

I considered having it, but they put me on the same hormone in a pill form, just to make sure it was suitable first. It turned me fucking crazy. I couldn't react rationally to the slightest of perceived provocation, it was really, really awful. I'd take it out.

I was like this with anyone who fucked me off, not just my partner but it was mainly him that got the brunt of it because, as with you, he was the one I spent most time with.

And it was a case of stuff that would normally have me moaning a bit when he came home from work, the neighbours being a PITA or work being knackering, would send me into a rage because he had asked. So I would be ok and he would come in and say "How was your day?" and I would say "Oh next door neighbour was blaring the music again......BUT I DONT SUPPOSE YOU CARE DO YOU?! OH NO! OUT DOING YOUR LOVELY DREAM JOB, YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME DO YOU?!!!!!" and then burst into tears.

It is terrifying when you dont feel in control of yourself and I am a bit pissed off at people implying that the OP must be a closet abuser if she doesnt stroll out of the house in the morning and stick one on the first person she meets. Hormonal contraception is known to do this.

Btw, this was by far the worst pill I've ever had, any of the others are much better. I'm on the hormonal coil (mirena) now which is also fine.

I had this, the doctor took it out with no questions. I'm not taking anything now, using condoms and dh is having a vasectomy next month to avoid me having to risk hormones ever again

Yup, the implant turned me into a crazy bitch too. It is the devil's tool!

Bogeyface, this is exactly the same as what is happening with me. Like the incident at the weekend where we were in bed and my partner started to initiate sex but I had decided that I didn't want the regular in bed, lights out kind of thing and, assuming he is psychic, went into a whole rage about how he doesn't find me attractive and he's not passionate enough and our sex life is boring and how selfish he is etc etc. It's now Tuesday and I still feel really guilty about it. We had had an awesome night and I went and ruined it over something stupid and unnecessary, it literally lasted for hours me slamming doors and hitting out and screaming. I feel embarrassed that he sees me like that, he is lovely about it but he must think I'm mentally unhinged.

I think I might try the family planning clinic rather than the doctor, I feel like they might be more willing to take it out without a fuss.

I have had the POP (progesterone online pill) it's also known as the mini pill.

That was the last option for me. Normal pills never agreed with me plus I have too much esteogren so they made me ill.

The mini pill was fine for a short while but my body soon reacted the same way again

Looking back though I'm glad - the idea of putting artificial hormones into my body is horrible! (To me anyway..)

It was my body's way of saying no.

Meant to say progesterone only pill - not online pill

I get that in the last few weeks and coming off of the depo injection. which is why I will now never stop taking it