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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What does this mean?

9 replies

Angelic88 · 13/07/2015 19:10

When a guy jokingly says things like "your lips are warm, who have you been kissing" or if he's away on business "Who are you going to replace me with?"
we have not been seeing each other for long and although he says this in a jokey Manor. .. I think there may be more to it? What do you think?

OP posts:
springydaffs · 13/07/2015 19:14

Ask him. Don't be put off if he says it's just a joke. Is a weird thing to say, it's not funny.

Doesn't trust you, basically. Either bcs he's been cheated on or... well let's hope he's not one of those.

CheersMedea · 13/07/2015 19:14

If this is very early, I would worry this was an early indicator of extreme jealously and controlling behaviour that will emerge later.

It may be nothing but the "replace me with" is a bit weird if you are a very new couple.

Jakadaal · 13/07/2015 19:15

Sounds a bit insecure to me and rather than asking outright he is 'joking' to get some reassurance

pocketsaviour · 13/07/2015 19:16

Giving the benefit of the doubt (if there aren't any other worrying signs) could it be a not-so-subtle way of asking if you're seeing other people as well as him? If you haven't had the "are we in an exclusive relationship yet" conversation?

Fearless91 · 13/07/2015 20:04

My ex was like this. I naively thought it was jokey/sweet at first Hmm

Turns out he was jealous, manipulative and controlling! It was just his insecurity starting to show.

I'm not saying this is the case with you/him but next time he says something like that just be like "stop being so stupid".

TasEdin · 13/07/2015 20:11

Sounds like he is insecure and worried and trying not to cover it up. It's probably worth, IMO, sitting down and talking about it. If he is somewhat insecure (like me), start off with good things, then mention your concern, and reassure him.

Saltedcaramel2014 · 13/07/2015 20:14

Needy and/or likely to be a chat himself

I would be wary. Hopefully he's neither of these things and of course he could be. But there's probably a reason you posted here, rather than laughing it off completely. Stay conscious of that instinct.

Saltedcaramel2014 · 13/07/2015 20:14

Cheat I meant....

flatbellyfella · 13/07/2015 20:35

It sounds like a Red Light situation.

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