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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

misunderstanding escalated into horrible row

36 replies

chuncksterboo · 19/11/2006 18:20

dh and i went shopping and went off separately for a while and agreed to meet later. i turned up early at where i thought we were supposed to be meeting. 5 mins after when he should have been there i called him (he's rarely late) no signal on his phone. i tried again afew times , same thing kept happening. Then i dropped my phone, and it broke. was v wound uo by now and decided to go looking for him. After a while found him waiting somewhere else and i got really annoyed and asked where he's been and started getting really annoyed about it and my phone etc. he then shouted at me, ok then we're going home. This upset me even more and ended up walking throught the shop after him crying. he was annoyed that i had a go at thim and i was annoyed that he didn't care i was so upset. he shouted in front of dd and she cried for ages. feel terrible now, i know it was a misunderstanding but hate how furious he gets. he has agreed to see a counsellor to discuss controlling his anger but i don't feel too oprimistic about anything cahnging at present. Any advice anyone? Do i apologise for my part in this and move on?

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 20/11/2006 10:18

Oh dear! I can totally understand how this happened! No doubt he would have been embarrassed at this scene in front of everyone, as well as angry and annoyed at being shouted at. When he did try to make up, once his anger had died down a bit he got pushed away, because your anger was still rising!

Best thing to do is take the initiative, say sorry and give him a hug!

These things happen. When they do you just have to take a step back and put yourself in their shoes to get an idea of how they are feeling. Not easy, but it does work.

Rhubarb · 20/11/2006 10:19
Twiglett · 20/11/2006 10:21
Rhubarb · 20/11/2006 10:22
FloatingInTheMoonlitSky · 20/11/2006 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twiglett · 20/11/2006 10:27

chunksterboo .. just as an aside Rhubarb and I aren't taking the mick .. we have an ongoing thing where she's mean to me when all I do is compliment (and complement) her posts

FloatingInTheMoonlitSky · 20/11/2006 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhubarb · 20/11/2006 10:29

Feck orf Twigs! I'm the one who is nice and she is the meanie!

Twiglett · 20/11/2006 11:03

yes dear

joelallie · 20/11/2006 11:28

Six of one, half a dozen of the other as far as I can see. IME women (incl me) often want men to see through their angry behaviour and be nice to them but it's hard to be nice when someone is screaming at you IFKWIM. And men can be naturally obtuse when it comes to emotions.

Have you both sorted it out yet?

PinkTinsel · 20/11/2006 11:43

chunks, being angry and upset when the arguement was fresh was onr thing but you are sorta dragging this out.

if he won't apologise, fine! you don't apologise either but move on!

just walk up top him, say 'i don't want to fight anymore' and give him a kiss. this will only fester and get ugly if you drag it out any more

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