What to do with a disappearing DH?

[Alwayswiththechords]

My DH has a habit of just 'going for a walk' or 'going to the shop' (the shop is just round the corner) or 'just taking the bins out' and then not coming back until 2-3 hours later. He's been like this for years, it wasn't so much a problem when we didn't have kids but now it's really annoying. Why can't he just say that he's going to the pub? Earlier this evening he said he's going for a walk and I said I will go for a brisk walk when he comes back, that was over 2 hours ago, I'm stuck at home, DS is a sleeping and I'm scoffing chocolate and sulking by myself. He doesn't have a phone so can't call and shout at him.

Just really annoying, why can't he just tell me where he's going and how long he will be? I'd like to do stuff too, go for a walk or round the shops or something. He works most nights and Saturdays so it's not a daily occurrence but still annoying. What can I do? Anyone else gone through something similar?

It's just an excuse to get away from the monotony of domestic life. Selfish.

My best friend's DH does this! I've told her to do as you've been advised - push off for a couple of hours and be uncontactable.
As PP said, it's ducking out of the boring routine of family life. Nice

Any well it's owned and staffed by a couple of guys and the regulars tend to be slightly older couples so I'm thinking not that well?

I don't really understand what you're asking, then.

Always, have you actually seen these 'regulars and 'older guys'?

I bet they aren't all guys and they aren't all older.
It could just be a line he's giving you to shut you up.

If it were me, I would (at the last minute) announce that you are going with him - then watch his reaction.

I wouldn't bother with all that. Fgs, at least make your relationship equal!

Or it could be an older guy that's the attraction.

jenen I have thought about doing that, see how he reacts.

No it isn't acceptable to just disappear. He is part of a family and he needs to be an active part. Bare minimum is he gets a payg phone and texts you to let you know when he might be back.
Start phoning the bar every hour to check he's there.

We did talk tonight and I said what I thought of his behaviour, hopefully it will make a difference, at least he seemed genuinely sorry. I just need to now learn how to take some time for myself as well without feeling too guilty about it.

He prefers to be in a wine bar than with you and your ds is what it boils down to. Why is this? Surely he can't be drinking free drinks and taking up space for real customers so much? And he knows it stinks and is wrong or he would say he was going. How often does he do it really, and how much time do you get to do your own thing?

I find it bizarre he says he's just taking the bins out and then pushes off. How rude. And how exhausting when he comes back, to have the same conversation with him and know he'll do it again anyway. Your a prisoner really, especially as he's uncontactable and you don't just push off and leave him wondering.

Obviously you should do this on a daily basis until he mentions it.

you answered your own question with 'call and shout at him'.

What a selfish prick he is