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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

finally Dh is making an effort

3 replies

whatisforteamum · 11/07/2015 16:43

After a yr of being ignored i find this year now df is worse(dying from cancer everywhere) and repeatedly getting infections and i am working so much more hardly ever seeing dh for nights a t a time he is making an effort,
We have been out a couple of times and he has suggested going out more even enjoying a mini break in april.
He has sorted out his hearing probs after me going on for many months about it and is getting help for his anger and back pain which doesnt help his frame of mind.He finally admitted he snaps but doesnt like taking the pills or their side effects.
He now seems genuinely concerned for Df when last yr i wasnt allowed to mention how ill he was.
I asked him if he loves me and he said of course and another time he said sometimes.
He knows how hard my work has been with 2 fulltimers yet to be replaced and alot of workplace tension and midnight finishes (one colleague said he would like to punch me in the vagina) i told him what i heard,
Maybe its pity or maybe he realises how hard the last few years have been for me (us).I hope we have now turned a corner and move forward after 28 yrs together,

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 11/07/2015 20:00

I'm very sorry to hear that your df has been afflicted by this cruel disease and hope that modern medicine, or some greater power, can pull a miracle out of the hat for him.

Your work place sounds horrendous; do you belong to a union? If so, please give them a call and, if not, do you have an HR department you can alert to these unacceptable conditions?

Out of curiousity, how many of the 28 years you've 'been together' have been happy and fulfilling for you?

KetchupIsNearlyAVegetable · 11/07/2015 21:19

You don't sound at all convinced that he has had a total personality transplant after 28 years of angry snaps.

Is that why you posted?

whatisforteamum · 11/07/2015 23:22

No he hasnt been angry for 28 yrs only the last couple since his heart attack in 2013.He was a changed man.Thanks for the wishes godess however df has had chemo twice which has stopped working.Now he is in his final months which dh said last yr i cant blackmail him to bother with me over.
I am just pleased he has seen sense at last and realised the pressure i am under at the moment and turned back into a decent person who can be bothered. :)

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