Hiya I would really appreaciate some advice. I'm at a really low point and very confused. My husband and I have been together 14 years. We had a wonderful happy relationship until 2009 when he had an " emotional affair" for 7 months. I don't believe it was an emotional affair because he spend time with the woman and I was told otherwise but he denied it. The affair came completely out of the blue. We spent many months going back and forth he would come home then change his mind and leave again and I was emotionally spent. Our done was 2 at the time. He loved out after a few months but would still come and go as he pleased treating me awfully and refusing to commit to come home. After a yr and he wouldn't come home I decided for my own sanity to move out. He continued his lifestyle of going out drinking etc but then decided he wanted me back. I said his words were empty and it needed some actions from him. After a couple of years we got back together with him making a lot of promises after admitting he got mixed up with the wrong people and that he wanted his family back. He appeared to be back to himself and after moving back in together in march 2013 we were very happy and our second son was born in July 2014. This was a much wanted baby by him and he was very keen to have another baby. Before he was born my husband became very distant and I tried talking to him to no avail. After his birth he was never home, out on work events or football most nights of the week and wknds or when he was home he showed no interest towards any of us and was very cold towards me. There was no intimacy between us and despite me crying myself to sleep he didn't seem to care. He wouldn't spend anytime with me or the children and was always working or out socialising. I felt like he was with someone else again as his behaviour was as before but he denied this. Following an argument in November he packed his stuff and moved out without any discussion. Our don was 3 months old and the eldest 7 yrs. I repeatedly asked him to come home but he refused with no real explanation. Whilst away he continued going out all the time but wouldn't spend anytime with me. We went to counselling which proved pretty pointless as he didn't really talk and wanted to play a blame game. I'm April 15 I found out he is seeing a 25 yr old at work (he is 39). I found a hotel booking and asked if he was there and they confirmed he was a guest. He of course denies this but admitted he has been going out for drinks with her. He never showed any remorse when I found out and as before blamed it on me. Now I have filed for divorce and he now wants to come home? He says he can't explain why he's done it all again and that he wants us to be happy again. I said we were it was him that changed again. He has also been gambling a lot again I only found this out be guessing a password as he keeps everything financial or personal away from me. My family and friends hate him for putting me through all of this again and I hate what he's done but I still love him and suppose just hope that the man I knew would come back. I'm so hurt that he has invested time and kindness in another woman when that's all I wanted from him. I put no pressure on him or made no demands I just wanted us to have time together. I feel sad that he now wants to come back and had nothing but then he hadn't cared about me. I have fine slot of reading and read an article on narcissism and that could be my life. But he won't leave me alone and my head is so muffled that I hold onto the slightest bit of niceness and normality he gives. Please help xxxx