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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I leave my suicidal DP? Can't cope anymore :(

31 replies

sinningsaint · 09/07/2015 20:08

I can't believe I'm writing this, but enough is enough. My DP is currently suffering from very serious depression and is suicidal due to lots of problems within his family (ill step-father and sister) but he is refusing to get help. This came to light about 2 months ago and since then he has tried to take his life twice, no one else knows about this apart from me and an ex-colleague of ours (we all worked together but me and ex-colleague have left recently) who I confided in as she also suffers depression. At first I thought I was coping quite well, I read a very good self-help book and initially thought DP was making progress, he had cut down on his drinking and improved his eating habits. However in the last couple of weeks his behaviour towards me and mood swings have become out of control. He is constantly accusing me of cheating on him and lying (neither of which I have done) and it's getting to the point where I'm scared to say anything, even ask something as simple as 'what would you like for dinner?', in case he suddenly gets angry and we get into yet another vicious argument. I know he is only doing all this because the monster that is depression has taken over his body, and I love him more than I have ever loved anybody else, but if he continues to refuse to get help I can't carry on like this any more. If I leave him though I know he's going to do something stupid and try to kill himself again, this time possibly succeeding because I'm not there to stop him. At the minute if he's not at work he is with me (I'm not currently working) so never has the chance to try anything but if I leave him he will be alone for the 15 hours a day he isn't at work. What on earth do I do? I can't cope any longer if he carries on refusing to get help, but if I leave I'll be responsible for his death and could never live with myself.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/07/2015 19:07

God, SGB, I love your take on these situations

Twinklestein · 10/07/2015 19:51

You can't keep him alive OP if he wants to die, you can't police him 24/7, even when living with him. But doesn't show any hard evidence thus far of wanting to die, you have two parasuicides that's all.

HeyDuggee · 10/07/2015 19:58

Wait waaaat? He was unconscious and they told you just to go to GP next day? That makes no sense. They always tell you to make your way to a&e because they're liable if they advise you to wait overnight when diagnosing you over the phone. Surely he needed to be examined, no?

wannabestressfree · 10/07/2015 22:39

I love you solid.....

Bluetrews25 · 10/07/2015 23:15

SGB Grin
Couldn't agree more

LadyB49 · 11/07/2015 00:08

I left a paranoid schizophrenic after 22 years. We shared the same GP who advised me to get out of it. His psychiatric social worker advised me to make a life for mrself. I stayed and stayed for fear of what would happen to him. But eventually when I was on the verge myself because of stress I had to go.
Within a year of me leaving he was permanently hospitalized and cared for. And my life took off.

I couldn't help him. And neither can you.
All that will happen is that you will get pulled down also and two lives will be wasted.

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