what would you do?

[rainbowgirl]

if the price for your mother's help with your children was emotional abuse? if the price for having the continued support (financial and otherwise) of your father with his grandchildren was your mother's continued vitriol?

am i better off cutting her out of my life and trying to fend for myself although this will be harder on a practical level?

she systematically says things like she hates me, she resents me, she can't stand to be in the same room as me.. she will apologise then it will happen all over again..

i'm a single mum to dd nearly 4 and 5 months pg with 2nd baby. no partner around currently.

just had another huge scene with her today and feel caught between a rock and a hard place i know i should be grateful for her being near me at all, in one sense, but in another, i just wish i could get free of her!

Poor you; sounds like you don't need the stress!

How about a temporary break from her rather than "cutting her out" altogether?

Pages hope you are ok, your thread really helped i just read it, didn't see it before..; my mother has said to me today that she would rather cut me out of her life (and lose 2 grandchildren) than carry on the way things are. i honestly don't see what i do except for just be myself, and not be the daughter she always dreamed of. it is so hard because i need her support at the moment and it just isn't there. i pine for this mother/daughter relationship which i have never had and will never had (except with myself as mother rather than daughter!)

any thoughts welcome xx

thanx shazronnie yeah maybe i sounded a bit drastic.. that is the way she makes me feel

can't stop crying it's not just my mother it's everything.......god i hate it when it gets like this

i'm on this thread if anyone has got any useful words of wisdom or consolation, just want to feel a bit better and at times like this i just don't know how! \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2100&threadid=236029&stamp=061118183508}

why does that never work

If I'm on the wrong track here I apologise but: are you living with your parents? Because if so, is there any way you can move out? That might make things a lot easier: if you have a slightly strained relationship with a person and you're all under the same roof, there's nowhere to excape to, which means people get more stressed and upset and say worse things than they might if it were possible to be away from each other for a few days.
Whatever the situation, can you go and spend time with a friend (with or without kids) or just go for a good long walk or something when it gets too much?
Best of luck.

no madamez i don't live with her thank god!!! otherwise i think i truly would have gone insane by now.

i moved back to the town i grew up, from london, a couple of years ago when dd was 2. so we live nearby, maybe 10/15 minutes drive, close enough that i find it really claustrophobic..

dp currently suffering with bad depression so he's not with us, so i'm currently living just with my dd and i'm also pregnant..

but you're right about space. the thing is, i think she wants to help, but we both end up just feeling crowded..

SYmapthies anyway.. try if you can to just be elsewhere - can a friend put you up for a weekend? your're pregnant which means you're going to be generzlly more volatile and vulnerable, so try to do as much self-pamperin as possible and put a bit of distance between you.
Best of luck.