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Original poster

in a mess.

41 replies

wellawella · 06/07/2015 11:02

Bit of back story, exh had affair many yrs ago and we separated, during our separated time we would still occasionally sleep together.divorced 5 yrs ago, kids grown up. Nearly 2 yrs ago it all came out about this other woman, kids didn't know about the affair as was all hidden, they found out in 2013, late last yr his gf had a baby, my dc have nothing to do with baby or gf,have told their dad this is how they feel and he is ok with this! The mess is that we have been sleeping together since be4 the gf was pregnant. I know it's wrong but I can't stop, we talk daily,I go to family gatherings, his gf doesn't.

OP posts:
Fatstacks · 06/07/2015 14:47

He left you when he started fucking another woman.

He decided you were of such little importance to him.

You putting him out was just the conclusion of his actions.

You need to be rid of him before you can start a normal respectful relationship that values you.

Chillyegg · 06/07/2015 14:54

So he's got it made hasn't he?

Two women running round after him at his beck and call...
He gets to play happy families at christmas leaving his gf and baby at home. Yeah she might of been the other women she could also be a massive twat but she wasn't married to you.
For your self stop sleeping with him.

Find someone better.

YY to whoever said about feeling sorry for the baby

rumred · 06/07/2015 18:15

Op- there really are more fish in the sea. I hope you look after yourself and dump his sorry arse. I can't imagine you can move on if you're still shagging your ex. Good luck getting it all sorted.

whateverlovemeans · 06/07/2015 18:31

Here's a happy thought. If he is fucking both of you and he knocked her up, you are all swapping the same bodily fluids. If you can live with that kind of ick factor, have at it!

Cabrinha · 06/07/2015 18:41

I'm no fan of a woman who sleeps with a married man, but I do think that more responsibility falls with him.

And the fact that he's fucking her over too now suggests he really is the arsehole, doesn't it?

Have you NO pride?
You're not proving you can have him or getting your own back on her. You're just being used.

Bet he's happy as a pig in shit!

It'll come out eventually - nice for your kids.

I'm even feeling almost sympathetic towards his girlfriend, who he may have fed an absolute pack of lies about you and your marriage when he started the affair.

He's the common cheating denominator here.

You really want to sink that low?

Viviennemary · 06/07/2015 18:44

Well I don't blame you. He was your husband. It's a shame you couldn't just have got back together and avoided this mess. But it's hard to give an answer when I don't know what exactly the question is.

Original poster
wellawella · 06/07/2015 19:10

Thank you for all your comments and advice. I suppose he does have the best of both worlds, I just have to grow a back bone now.
Viviennemary, thank you for your understanding, to be honest I don't even know what I was asking, just needed to write it down, tho if I'd written down everything I'd be here all night.

OP posts:
nozzz · 06/07/2015 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nozzz · 06/07/2015 19:14

What would your kids' reaction be if they knew this truth?

Original poster
wellawella · 06/07/2015 19:21

nozzz, the dc dread the ow, her or baby are never mentioned, they have never seen the baby but I don't know how they would feel about what is going on.

OP posts:
FolkGirl · 07/07/2015 05:30

I would like to hazard a guess at how your adult children would feel.

I think they would feel ashamed of you. They would feel embarrassed for you. They would lose all respect for you. And they'd feel angry.

They clearly have very strong feelings about the gf and baby, but don't be fooled into thinking that means they'd approve of this.

You are currently demeaning yourself hugely - opening your legs for the man who ruined your (and so their) family. I think you are seeing the fact you have sex as proof that he still has feelings for you, or that you're worth more to him than her, or that he regrets what he did...

It doesn't mean any of that.

And if it gets discovered you will not only become the ow in other people's eyes, but also the one who is mocked for letting him use you like this.

If I sound harsh, good. You need to know that this is a very bad idea andmakes you no better than either of them. Just a bit of a dirty sex ttriangle. Cheap and nasty.

Have a bit of dignity and self respect and end it!

Eminado · 07/07/2015 07:21

*You're not proving you can have him or getting your own back on her. You're just being used.

Bet he's happy as a pig in shit!*

^^
THIS

Original poster
wellawella · 07/07/2015 17:47

Thank you for your comment FolkGirl, you are right with alot of what you posted. the last thing I want to do is hurt my dc, they mean the world to me.

OP posts:
Jan45 · 07/07/2015 17:50

Yes another one who thinks the guy is loving it, getting what he wants from both of you, believe me, you are definitely being used, get a grip, find your self respect and a man who is actually availble and show your kids how to be a grown up properly.

If it's just sex you're after love, you can get that from anyone.

Lovingfreedom · 07/07/2015 18:19

Plenty of other guys out there...stop sleeping with him...or you could phone Jeremy Kyle ;-)

Original poster
wellawella · 07/07/2015 18:24

Thank you for ur comment Jan45, your right he probably is loving it and I know it has to stop.

OP posts:
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