My marriage of 25 years ended when I found out my husband was having an affair and had had a child with the woman. Although I discovered some awful things - like he'd send her pictures of our children as babies to show her what their kid might look like - I wasn't actually that shocked or devastated because it was the culmination of years of childish, selfish, deceptive behaviour. He was, basically, a tosser. Anyway...my problem is three years on and I'm a virtual recluse. I've thrown myself into my job and hidden away from any idea of having another relationship. I force myself to go out and go on holiday but I feel like a lost singleton freak and am only really comfortable at home on my own. On the relationship front, I guess I don't trust my judgement in men or my ability to get out of something that isn't right. I stuck at a bad relationship for a quarter of a century. I'm 45 and haven't got enough life left to make the same mistake again! What actually shocks me is when I see a good relationship - people loving and supporting each other and genuinely being friends. Can that really happen? I try not to be cynical, but I'm not sure I believe in love any more, or at least that I'll ever get a chance at it. A few words of hope from anyone who's been there would be much appreciated.