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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Never thought I'd be typing this! But how & help???

4 replies

stuckinahole · 04/07/2015 19:43

Never ever did I think I would be typing this.

How do I get a boyfriend?

My past is just a jaded hazy mess of dysfunctional relationships, flings, shagging etc! I'm 38, outgoing, confident, well educated & consider myself good fun.

But what the actual fuck is wrong with me? I only seem to go for the most dysfunctional relationship I can find! Men I can't have, men that don't want me, men that don't want a relationship, men that are unavailable, men that treat me like shit! These are the only men I appear to be attracted to!? Yet all they bring is a one way ticket to heart break hotel ....

(I have a DS from a past relationship (if you can call it that!) he is very loved, was very wanted & my friends, family etc have enough love & support for my DS & me)

So I'm not even screaming out I'm 38 & desperate for a child (I won't be having another unless it's a miracle!) I don't even hold the baggage of the "father of my child"

I just have NO IDEA how to attract a normal (if it exists) relationship.

Help! I'm started to think I will be alone forever & end up rotten & eaten by mice ....

OP posts:
Colabottle10 · 04/07/2015 19:49

Look to the relationship you have/had with your father. This often dictates what we then look for in a partner.

Then look at how and where you are meeting these men. Drinking / bars / clubs? Mostly full of blokes looking for a shag. What about a hobby? Can you meet like minded men doing something you might both love?

Original poster
stuckinahole · 04/07/2015 19:58

Interesting Cola Hmm yes my Father is / has & most likely to be a "player"

And indeed most of "these men" are met usually based around socialising in the most bizarre of places.

Ok, game change needed then!

I don't even know what I really like doing!?! I need to think about this don't I??

OP posts:
Atenco · 04/07/2015 20:04

I'm sure you are attracting normal, nice men, OP, but you are just not attracted to them yourself. Which does suggest questioning why you are attracted to bastards.

Original poster
stuckinahole · 04/07/2015 20:18

I know ShockShock I question every day why I am attracted to such bastards!!

I need to change, it's me ....

But how??? It's starting to really get to me now

OP posts:
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