Would you be peeved about this invite?

[PanicPants]

We have a family birthday later this week, and I was told about and was asked to go, but I was asked like this:

We are going out for a meal at the weekend, but I know you've been ill, and I know it's probably a bit late for ds so we'll understand if you don't want to come. isn't coming either.

Felt like I really wasn't invited but had to be informed so not to cause a ruckus.

Go if you want to, don't if you don't want to, don't read anything into the invitation which may or may not be there - life's too short!

My mum invites me to things like this, because she knows how hard I find getting out and doesn't want m eto feel under any pressure to go. I wouldn't read too much into it esp. if it comes from close family.

Oh I disagree, if they didn't want to invite you they wouldn't have, they probably just realise that it would be difficult for you to make arrangements and don't want you to stress about it.

Ok, maybe I did get it all wrong or am just very paronoid!

I just felt like I was supposed to say, Oh thanks but you're right, it is going to be too late for ds etc etc

agree with nearly three and nogoes.....i wouldn't stress...go and have a lovely time...x

Sounds to me like someone is trying to be considerate of your feelings. What's wrong with that?

Go if you want to, but they're giving you a way out if you don't want to, which sounds quite sensitive/diplomatic to me.

It's the sort of thing I might say to someone - and the motivation would definitely be to invite that person genuinely and want to see them there, but not to want to make them feel obliged to come if it didn't suit them

go if you want to although i know how you feel. i was made redundant nearly 2 years ago and i was still friendly with one of the trainees so when she qualified she had a drinks do which she invited me to but then told me that it would be best if i didnt come (i was taking former boss to tribunal). was very pissed more for her lack of principles than anything else.

you didn't get it wrong- its a cackhanded invitation where the person asking hasn't really thought about how negative and UNinviting they sound.

I would be peeved.

I would have to say it depends on what your relationship is like with this person. Do they usually include you and yours or do you often find out about things they "did on the spur of the moment" and that's why you were not included? If you get on reasonably well with them normally, then I would think they are really really trying to be considerate of your feelings/situation/trying not to put pressure on you to make the effort if it would be a bit too soon. To be honest it is the kind of thing I would agonise over and write and then worry that I may not have explained myself enough. I haven't sent out any family invitations by the way so it's not me!