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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help me?

3 replies

Nothingofmeleft · 04/07/2015 13:46

My marriage is at best emotionally abusive. I am also in ill health. My husband moved out months ago but has continued to be emotionally abusive, although of course, it's all me and my fault.

I'm left trying to care for my DC, of which two have special needs. I cannot cope any more. I have been depressed the whole time but antidepressants don't seem to work and I have seen a psychiatrist who said they won't work as I have some emotional instability but am doing very well considering my past and what's going on in my life now.

I have no family of any use or who I can turn to and they are all far away anyway.

I feel like I need to leave but I cannot face sorting everything out for me and the children. I have tried to get a house but been turned down due to benefits and it's just all too much to cope with right now. Plus, my emotional state can't be good at all for the children.

I think I need to leave by myself. My husband will have the children but I have nowhere to go. Would a refuge be a possibility? I have an overdraft and can use that to pay for a hotel in the short term, but obviously that's not a long term solution.

I just don't know what to do and I feel broken.

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 04/07/2015 14:37

I don't quite understand your current living situation, sorry - are you still in the marital home? Is your ex abusing you regarding paying the mortgage or similar?

Nothingofmeleft · 04/07/2015 16:05

I am but it's tied to his work, so I won't be able to stay here.

OP posts:
scallopsrgreat · 04/07/2015 16:39

Have you tried Women's Aid. I think you need some RL support and they might be a good place to start. You will probably be able to take your children to a refuge too if that's what you choose to do (or want to do).

The Rights of Women website has loads of resources too which may help you.

It does sound like finding some longer term accommodation, whether for yourself or both you and your children needs to be the priority.

You sound so worn down (which of course is what he wants). Try disengaging from him. Keep the conversations about the children only. You could insist that he uses a special e-mail account to communicate or just communicate by text if he is continuing to be abusive. Small steps in setting boundaries. Flowers

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