Toxic N/C family posting photos of DD on a blog. V upset.

[jamaisdeux]

Thank you to anyone that replies, I need honest opinions.

I had an abusive childhood but was a good daughter, have a DBro and DSis, they escaped totally unscathed, DBro still lives at home, he is 42, DS is constantly at the 'family home'. I have married and had DD (7) and live abroad.

My parents have been N/C with me since they refused to come to my wedding (too expensive), at first, DSis & I were on the same page about what happened in childhood, since DD was born, I gradually realised more and morethat she is relaying every single aspect of my life/problems (the worse the better) back to my parents to their delight, I imagine. They don't have friends or go out, they like to sit around and gossip.

When DD was born I emailed my parents and asked if they wanted to meet her, I made several attempts. They simply didn't reply.

I have gone low contact with DSis as she has become increasingly odd towards me, this summer she showed DD a picture of my father and said 'this is your Grandpa', I was so upset. But couldn't make a big deal about it infront of DD. Little insiduous comments constantly which I know have come from my mother. She sort of feeds their hate, sounds so odd, but I am sure that is what she does.

DD phoned DSis on her birthday and told her about a big competition she had won. Two weeks later a friend emails me and asks me have I seen my fathers blog? (I had no idea he had one), he has copied all the photos of her winning this prize from the school website, photos of me and DH and put all our names, yet it is totally out of context and he has refused to meet DH and DD.

I am furious, utterly furious and find it so odd and hurtful.

I didn't know wether to post in AIBU, legal (is it legal to do this?) or here. I went for here, has anyone got any comments on the above, anything, I am doubting my own sense of reason here. I must add I am an intensely private person, I have no Facebook, twitter etc.

When I complained to my sister and asked her again why she had breached my trust/privacy and told my family these things she said I was evil and she never wanted to speak to me again.

Sorry for long post and thank you so much for reading.

Sorry if someone has said this.

But ring up the school and ask them about posting the pictures. It could be that you signed a waiver allowing this when you first applied for the school and it would have been one of many that you would have had to sign. It is possible you wouldn't have thought much about it at the time.

If that is the case, talk to them about removing your consent.

Firstly, I slept better last night than I have for the last three weeks. I had been dithering about posting on here, I was nervous about it. You have all been so supportive and kind and cannot know how much it has meant to me.

The advice has been invaluable. Both the emotional and practical, I wish I had posted before.

pocket how generous of you to offer to help me. I now don't need it, (more to come!) but that was such a kind offer. Thank you

redshoe thank you for your kind words.

MrsV2012, goodness, that really is incredible. That is much worse than my situation. That really takes the biscuit. I am sorry you have experienced similar. It is such a horrible, horrible feeling.

Offred Yes, yes to 'personality our parents don't find easy', it is strange because they have rewritten history. For example, I worked so hard at school, got all my O's and A's and got into a good university etc. Mainly spurred on by leaving the house. They can't deny I achieved those things because they are facts, however, I worked in M&S every single weekend and holidays and bank holidays, to pay my way. Now the family line is 'I never had a job'. So strange.
I nearly fell off my chair when I looked up 'flying monkey', it's all there, written down, describing to an absolute 't' every single aspect of my sisters behaviour. Thank you so much for telling me about that. I am still reeling.

goddess thank you so much for your support.

Aussiebean thank you also, I definitely did sign a waver. It is a small private school, at that time you had to have a code to enter the website, now they have a few 'top stories' on the home page, such as DD and this award. But I would still have signed any waver, it would never have occured to me not to. DD is Spanish so has a Spanish name and then my surname at the end (law here), in reality only the first name and second name are used, nobody uses the mothers maiden name bit, it is just for legal documents and in this case, the school used it for this award. Nobody could find this (doesn't come up on google) unless they knew the school, the strange convoluted name etc etc.

Thank you for your message.

So, I have news! But I wanted to thank you all before. About an hour ago I went to the bloody blog, where the thumbnail picture was, was now a picture of a beach. When I clicked on it there were still all these photos up. An hour later (just now) the whole lot has gone pfft!
What utter joy!

Now I am going to get on and I feel a million times lighter thanks to you all.

I have sylvanians blog title in my head also, just incase!
Have a lovely summer everyone. I am one week down of 12!

So glad the blog issues are resolved and that you've had some emotional support from others who share your experience. Go forth and enjoy your summer!

NC with sister, that's for sure.

yea MN !!

Your sister is definitely a flying monkey! I'm glad it's resolved and that you're pleased you posted. Do come over to the Stately Homes thread if you haven't and would like to talk more about all this.

Can I ask how your friend found the blog?

Hi button, I can't say how as it would totally out me and also my sister (and I have morals, even if she doesn't). However, in vague terms, my sister has been in the news/press alot very recently to do with her career, which is sort of directly to do with her blog. Her blog is on all the newsites and on her twitter and has become a bit of a trending thing etc. Her blog is directly linked in with my Dad's. The first thing you saw on my Dad's were these photos.

My friend clicked on my Dad's blog link by mistake. But, because of it, somehow also, our names all suddenly appeared on google. As I said, I hate Facebook, twitter etc. I just don't want pictures of my family on the internet, especially as DH was obviously ill in the photos. They are not posed, nice, flattering photos (apart from DD!) He printed our names but not who we were. No mention of 'daughter' 'granddaughter' etc. No, just our names.

If there wasn't the media aspect of it all, I probably wouldn't have a) ever known b) cared alot less.

I hope that makes sense!

Oh, and thank you for your reply!