Great guy, butterflies, but when it comes to sex, part of physique putting you off. Can you move past it?

[Wondabraaa]

I recently met someone online. We've been on 3 dates and each one of these was a day long. I get on so well with him, and we talk for hours on the phone in between meeting. I think he's really kind hearted, opinionated (too much sometimes but I still like it!), and really engaging to talk to.

But I don't fancy him. I don't think. He makes my stomach flip when I see him and when I see his message pop up I feel a bit giddy, but when we are together, I can't see myself ever going beyond the kissing stage. He's slightly overweight (I know this sounds terrible!!), and I've never been with someone like that before, I don't know if that's putting me off. When he kisses me he makes me want to go further (I wouldn't at this stage), but I know deep down that when my hands are around his waist etc it's a bit off putting. Im really not focused on looks at all so this has come as a surprise to me. I feel confused.

Do you think this can/will pass? Anyone been in this situation before?

[AreYouSupposedToBeInIowa]

I think Takeinyourhen has a point. This is not a criticism as I have been where you are but.....I think you have the real him and the slightly romanticised version of him. When you are apart, the romanticised version takes over but together and the reality does not quite match up. You are confused by this slight disconnect. I had this at least once. Hope this doesn't out me but my sister went on to marry the first one and I look at him now as my BIL and know that I did the right thing by gently easing him off in her direction ending it and moving on. I definitely don't fancy him now and nor does my sister
I guess you have to have a word with yourself and lose the version you are not comfortable with.

[HappenstanceMarmite]

I think takeinyourhen has hit the nail on the head...you like the idea of him. I've been there. That nagging voice doesn't go away.

[HappenstanceMarmite]

And trying to talk yourself into fancying him will end in tears too. Again, been there, done that. Really wanted it to work as everything else ticked the boxes.

[overreactionemoticon]

I've had similar.
When I met dp I didn't think I fancied him, because physically he was different to my type.
A few weeks down the line I realised that I actually did fancy him. It was just my preconceptions of what I thought I was attracted to getting in the way.

[overreactionemoticon]

I've also had it with someone else where there was zero chemistry and that would never have worked, I cringed when he tried to kiss me etc

[Jan45]

Totally get you, you like his personality but not his fat stomach, perfectly entitled reason to find him off putting, it's not nice to look at or feel, you may, in time, if you pursue the relationship find it less off putting as things grow, but either way, you are perfectly normal and entitled to feel like that, I know I would!

[Cabrinha]

I disagree with those who say butterflies definitely means you fancy him.
I had a sexual relationship with a guy I met online recently.
I wanted to like him, as we got on well. I thought I fancied him, but actually the butterflies were entirely driven by the situation of sex. It was flirting / having sex that made me feel turned on, not actually HIM, iyswim?
I'm seeing someone else now and it's utterly different, the attraction is massively different.

[FreakinScaryCaaw]

Slow burners last longest.

[alongcamespiders]

I have a huge belly due to hormones, health issues and medication. No amount of diet or exercise gets rid of it, I hate it, reading this makes me sad.

[BeautifulRedBoots]

I love my partner dearly. He is an incredible bloke. We have amazing sex. Enjoy each others company and can talk about anything together. I could go on, but it would be boring. However, I do not find him visually attractive. Some physical aspects I find very unattractive. But he has been everything to me for fifteen years and I would not be without him...