MAYDAY! We're sinking fast!

[HoldMeDown]

Together 5 years, we have 2 young children and I have a 12yo from previous relationship.
We are well and truly on our last legs, gripping on by the skin of our teeth for the sake of the kids. He's said he doesn't love me anymore, I believe him. I want to be in love with him again.
We are good together, just not very often.
How do we get from this bitter, stand-off, to re-building what fell down? I think the pieces are still there, they're just coated in(baby) shit at the moment!
Has anyone managed to claw their way out of the relationship-destroying 'I'm just a parent now, not a girlfriend' pit?? Speak up please. I need your help

Hi, op, have you ever thought about going to counselling as a couple or, perhaps, maybe getting a babysitter & having some time to yourselves?

I don't know what the answer is, but it's clear that you are fed-up & need things changing! How about a trial separation? So you both have time to think things through?

Hope you get it sorted, op, I've been there & it's horrid :-(

Bump

He "doesn't love you anymore"? or can't deal with family life, a near teen and two youngsters?

Does he help you around the house? Or expect you to do it all? (common enough on MN).

What do YOU want? I mean practically, not the fairy tale "wanna be in love with him again"..

The romance really does go out the window when you are running around 24/7 with family life. especially with the baby shits

It does get better. Give it time. And if not, let him go and see what he is missing in the long run.

Sorry to be negative but once your partber says they no longer love you I think it's the end.
You can spend your time trying to regain his love by whatever means but I think your compromising your integrity and will further put him off.
If you decide not to remain with someone who apparently has no love for you, the worst that can happen is that you regain your dignity and give yourself a chance of happiness and he may realise that he is still in love with this strong, capable woman.

You both sound like you fell out of love with each other. Counselling and having more couples time could be a start.