DP is divorced, doesn't really speak to his ex wife, as the divorce was pretty acrimonious. She put all the blame for their failed marriage on him and played the poor me card to everyone. He feels it was more joint, and is still quite bitter that she won't accept she was anything less than 100pc in the right, and about their marriage ending mainly because he (and his family) are quite religious and believe marriage is for life and children should grow up with married parents.
His parents and siblings are still in regular contact with his ex wife (he has no contact with any of her family), which he's unhappy about, especially because she still plays the same poor me card and shit stirs constantly. The longer we've been together I've started to get drawn into this, with the family all basically saying to me that DP should turn the other cheek (or whatever, I'm not religious but it's something like that) and basically hold out the olive branch to her. I've tried to keep out of it, and so far just said I think DP is happy with how things are. But I am going to get to a point where I say well why is it just up to him...which I suspect won't go down well.
Bloody facebook is the other issue because they're all still friends with her. This all grates on DP, because she always was really rude about them all behind their back, yet now he feels they all make more effort with her than they do with him. Yet they all keep encouraging him to make peace, which I don't think will benefit anyone other than her having got her own way again. I'm just not sure if I'm dealing with them correctly as I'm reluctant to be put in a position where every time he's not in the room they're having a word with me about it.