Ages ago we planned to go to a family friendly day out nearby for this weekend with our kids We invited BIL & SIL & their kids. They live over 300 miles away so would require travel. There was a cheap deal going so relatively inexpensive. They agreed & were up for it.
BIL & SIL decided during this time that PIL can bring the kids & join us and they can have a weekend to themselves. Fine by me, my PIL
are awesome & I just about tolerate BIL & his wife.
The plans get changed again as they are now only coming for 1 night as it's too far for the kids to be away from home for a long weekend, so PIL are doing a 600 mile round trip for just 1 night, which I wouldn't do so thinks it is unfair that they should.
Plus they don't see our kids often so it's such a shame it is only for a short period of time.
BIL still hasn't paid me for their share. I have requested it a few times. According to MIL she has been told they are treating the kids so as a result they are paying. I won't take the money of MIL as they are already paying a lot in travel & they are super generous anyway so couldn't take it off them. I have decided I just take the hit but have told DH that I won't organise stuff like this with His brother family going forward. He is in agreement.
However we are both aware that BIL & SIL palm the kids off at the first opportunity and the past 2 years have gone on holiday without the kids, leaving them with grandparents (they neither took their kids away separately). PIL do alot for BIL & his family, but do also enable their crap so we just leave them to it. However I feel sorry for the kids & want to create memories with their cousins.
What's pissing me off is that BIL & wife get away with shit all the time. I could ring them & get the money but it turns into a MASSIVE argument, shit from the past gets dragged up & PIL get dragged into it. Nothing gets resolved & lots of hard feeling. I feel there is nothing I can do about the situation but yet lumbered with it.
A few months ago I fell ill, really poorly. My MIL came down to help for a couple of weeks and was brilliant. BIL & SIL rang every day complaining how hard it was without her there, & really pulling on her heart strings. Then they played the guilt trip on her what that their childcare bill was for those couple of weeks. I have a op due in November, & could do with her help (like I said she is awesome), but I know asking is going to cause a ruckus.
How do I deal with these people?!!! They have a level of control over us all which I hate. And challenging them turns into drama lama.