God, I'm such a bitch

[winkywinkola]

So, I reversed into a friend's car the other day. Not hard. I made two scratches on the front of her car. No dent. Her au pair was parked in it when it happened.

I called my friend to tell her. I was so worried about the cost. So was h.

She shrugged it off saying the car was old and pretty knackered and she would let me know. I went round the other night to have a look at the car at her request. It looked like I thought. Two scratches about two inches long.

She gave me a cup of tea and I texted h to tell him what she said and added "Hmmm. She's going to get money out of us". And sent it to her by mistake.

Why? Why did I type that? Why didn't I text "and she's being so understanding and non demanding about it all. We need to pay for the scratches."

She said to me I sent the text to the wrong person. I could have died. And felt deep shame and apologised.

How can I make things okay? She's acting all normal and friendly but I can't bear that she thinks I'm this nasty person. I mean, if I read that text I would be so offended. We are friends. We help each other out with childcare etc.

Of course I have apologised.

You made a mistake. You apologised. The apology was accepted. Why can't you let it go? .... do you expect your friend to run around trying to soothe your discomfort? What is it you want from your friend or this thread?

I think if you have apologised as sincerely and as genuinely as your posts here have come across I wouldn't be offended, honestly! Miffed when I first got it but after your explanations and apologies it wouldn't cross my mind to be annoyed x

This happened to me....I received a text from my friend that was mildly insulting about me, and that was meant for her fiancé. She then straight away texted me as if it had all been a joke, and that she had meant to send it as a laugh. But if courses she hadn't.

I was upset at first, but the thing is, I am so sure of her friendship being real, and that she does care a lot about me, that forgiving her was easy. I would have hated if she had gone on about it, as once I forgave her that was it for me.

Don't worry about it now...just treat her with more respect in future as it sounds like she deserves it.

What did the text say, exactly?

Because if you literally just said that you had now seen the scratches, and added "hmm, She's going to get money out of us", then you probably looked a bit two-faced and stingy, but it's not the end of the world. I wouldn't kick you out of the house over it!

I get the feeling that the general tone of the message may have been different to that, though, and that's what you're feeling bad about.

Nope. The message was exactly as I put it. That's bad enough I think!

And Dead, I was posting because I feel dreadful and was wondering the best way to make amends.

In that case, you're definitely over thinking :).

It wasn't like you accused her of worsening the scratches or anything, and most people would be annoyed at an unexpected car cost. You did a lovely thing offering to pay, but it's natural to be annoyed at the cost, and your text didn't direct that annoyance at her.

The initial embarrassment when you send a text to the wrong person is strong, and it must be even worse if they are in the room with you. I think that's affected how you're seeing this.

I wouldn't worry. If she's still being friendly and you've apologised, it's probably forgotten from her point of view.

It's not a text I would like to read about myself; I'd be pretty hurt if I'm honest. That said, it's not really an insulting text though - it could have been a lot worse! You've apologised and that's really all you can do - in time I'm sure you'll have both forgotten all about it.

Turns out the car is now in the garage and I will be finding out the cost of any repairs soon.

Ah well, if her old and knackered car is in the garage awaiting repairs for two little scratches it sounds like she IS going to be getting more money from you than you expected, so don't feel too guilty!