What did you learn from your sexless marriage/relationship

[horsewalksintoabar]

Enlighten me.
No great details here. I'm in one. Lots of 'reasons' and excuses: "You're always tired at night" "I try to touch you but you turn away" "You're so busy with the kids" "I don't want you to risk getting pregnant" ... it's all a bunch of crap and the blame is very much placed upon me. The fact that his porn habit is an open secret between us does not help in the bedroom. Anyway. In the past couple of years it's just stopped. I can count on less than one hand the number of times we've been close. Oddly enough, I no longer want it with him. And yet I know that I should try and fix things.

Anyway, what are your stories? Did things improve on their own? Get worse? Did you get help?

Pinkfrocks

The inheritance is not purposely being dragged out - I am part of it, step by step. Most assets were initially jointly owned so it had to be agreed which side got what - along with the legalities of this. Took a good 18/24 months. Not enough cash to pay inheritance tax so property has to be sold - and this is not happening. Have just signed on a land deal which will hopefully clear the tax man....... Once they are paid, the assets can be split between DH and his siblings.

My exit strategy is being planned, and I will be seeing a lawyer over the summer, once I have clarified the REAL position on DH's 'illness'.

I learned never to accept it again. We had no kids, no work stresses. Simple fact was my ex-partner had always had a very low libido, very little interest in sex, and actually admitted later that this was the case and that she had "used" sex at the beginning to "get" me, knowing that I was "such a nice guy" that she would be able to "wean me off" sex and that I wouldn't leave her because I loved her.

A mistake I will never, ever make again. I spent 4 sexless years lying next to someone in bed. I have now been single for 5 years since our split and I am increasingly lonely and would adore to have a sexual relationship again. Being in a sexless relationship is worse - just.