Is it ok to miss EA?

[Inexperiencedchick]

Is it really OK to regret that it didn't work out and you left?

That you felt low because he used to put you on your place, belittle you, call you names, etc...

That he would only do his own way and won't even think about your situation (considering that you didn't mention some details)...

That he moves on very quickly and you realise that he never invested himself emotionally (well you kind of guessed beforehand that that was a case... )

After all what happened and that he treated you badly, is it really healthy to miss that person?

I think it is healthy as its a natural reaction to miss something that you were invested in. Not your fault that they turned out to be not deserving of it.

years ago, I was slightly surprised to find myself 'missing' someone who had been physically abusive to me. It took me years to understand that I didn't really miss them, more the mourning of the time and effort I put into the relationship. It gets better, truly

Is it really missing them...or is it a sort of separation anxiety? Imho, and experience, I think I felt a fear of the unknown of being on my own. That wasn't exactly front and center as the definition of what I felt (having very little emotional intelligence at that time). Jumping to conclusions...I misidentified the emotion as missing the (insert descriptive) jerk and went back. I eventually trusted my gut and dumped him permanently (a few decades before MN!).

It's ok to regret it, as long as you don't go back. Everyone lives with regrets

Emotional abuse is just what it says on the tin, it is emotional abuse and it leaves the abused person feeling confused and uncertain. Just accept that and the rest will fall into place. You no doubt miss him but you only miss him because your judgement has been bashed. If you go back to him you won't get better.

Stay away from him because it won't get better, he is an abuser and he won't change. The missing him feeling will fade, trust me. You have to be strong. Go to your doctor and see if you can access counselling. Go to women's aid and get support.

You need support, you have been emotionally abused and you need support.

Good luck, let us know how you get on. You sound like a very nice person. Get rid of that abuser and start slowly to enjoy your life.

Thanks ladies, love MN

to everyone

Same situation with me, sadly though we have a child together and I have to keep seeing him. I do not miss the abuse but I miss having someone I knew cared about me, the company and of course the good times when he was not angry! I think it is because we try hard for so long to make the relationship work, it is a shock to our system that it really is over.

I see him now with his girlfriend, acting the model boyfriend and it does hurt but 8 months on I am feeling a lot more at peace with my situation. I am sure you will too.

This resonated with me when I broke up with my cheating ex.

Coat

Sometimes I have wanted
to throw you off
like a heavy coat.

Sometimes I have said
you would not let me
breathe or move.

But now that I am free
to choose light clothes
or none at all

I feel the cold
and all the time I think
how warm it used to be.

Vicki Feaver

to you op.

Thanks Lady, it's so true...

The poem is lovely, x