Perspective needed

[Zzzsnatcher]

Hi thanks for reading.
I've just put young kids to bed and we are trying to get them to bed at a set time using a sleep training method on the eldest.(2).
I was holding baby in the spare room and I said something along the lines of "sigh...im finding this so fucking hard I really am, and I'm totally stuck now with2 kids"
My DP said something along the lines of "you've got them now so you can't complain and they will pick up on it and it makes it worse to get them to sleep."
I said "don't worry you don't understand" the I said "Id like you to do this for 2 weeks and see if you don't swear and you musnt complain to your partner"
He said " oh fuck off you immature cow you always have to just keep pushing it" I then said "well that wil affect them saying stuff like that"
Was I being a total cow? Do I deserve that??
Any perspective greatly received.
Thanks

If someone spoke to me like he did I would be showing them the door. Does he often talk to you in that way?

Yes we get very nasty with each other but I felt that was out the blue. I just want him not to minimalise how I feel about having two kids (1 is a little baby so it's quite new). He spent weekend working on his van that's solely his and he's making money from working on it. So I found it tough as I didn't get much of a break with the two kids.

I think that you were both wrong to speak how you did.

Why not suggest he takes control for a fortnight and see if his methods work their magic?

I think you are right vivacia.
We talk to each other so badly. I just can't seem to break up with him. Neither of us are happy

We've since been talking about splitting up. So went both agreed that we talk to each other horribly

You both were nasty in front of the children.

Would you consider Relate?

I'm feeling awful about the nastiness in front of children.
We have been discussing whether we are flogging a dead horse or not.
I'm not sure counselling is the a good idea. I can discuss with him.

Relate can you help you to separate.

Oh yes that's a good idea as we are both at a loss of how to go about it all. I'll find one near us. Thank you