Affairs and sex

[EdmondDantes]

If men are having an affair supposedly this leads to an increase in the sex at home. ( no idea if true) would this be the same for women? Or is it the opposite? With their attachment to the new man rather than their husband etc etc?

IME it depends on the person, and I suppose you could liken it to coming into money - some people go on a spending spree whilst others become even more careful with it, regardless of gender.

If you are trying to diagnose a possible affair through level of interest in sex, I think you should examine other parameters as well, such as outlook and emotional changes in a partner.

Are you writing an article?

Possibly not, WYSIWYG, the poster has spelt Edmond Dantes correctly, which is the the real name of the protagonist in the novel The Man In The Iron Mask. I suspect the average nitwit journo has heard of neither and would not appreciate its appropriateness for the post.

Just a thought.

Count of Monte Christo, sorry!

OP, some background would help others to reply to your question.

I suspect the average nitwit journo has heard of neither and would not appreciate its appropriateness for the post.

A friend of mine who had an affair stopped having sex with her husband as she felt guilty "cheating" on her OM. The affair lasted around 3 months so whilst her DH obviously noticed, they were a once a month couple anyway so she got away with it!

I'd say most women do go off sex with their partner when having an affair. They may well have SOME sex with husband not to arise suspicion but it's often easier to just feign not feeling well etc. If they do, it's invariably more detached than usual and more focused on the physical 'result' than any lengthy or emotional sex. That's ime of talking to women and how would I behave in theory if I went as far as having an OM while in relationship, but I do know one woman who said she slept with both as they had different styles and she liked both (unusual tbh).

Definitely not writing an article.

Freda. I am not self diagnosing. It's more just a thought about affairs after reading done of the stories in here.

Ok, OP, I'm just idly wondering, you know, no real reason, musing only really,
merely speculating as it were - why the interest?

Don't be shy.

Freda

I over analyse everything. Make up little scenarios in my head about how people might act. This is simply analysing one facet of life after seeing an article about what signs to look for if men cheat and it got me wondering. So whilst it may have some real life application it currently resides in the land of theoretical (however knowledge will be applied to relationship in the future as hard not to take on board information)

I can honestly say when I had emotionally checked out of my last long term relationship, I had a massive increase in sex drive & sex with my ex. I had been fantasising about a person from my past at length & it had re-sexualised me after a very dormant dry spell. I suppose my point is increased sex drive can certainly originate from other places, real or fantasy, than desire for the sexual partner. I'd be cautious of explaining away an inexplicably increased sex drive as evidence of an affair though! Everyone is different.