success stories with counselling? or just positive change stories?

[OhSoNamechanged]

Hi
I would like to hear from people whose relationships have been changed for the better - maybe following counselling? or maybe just through change.

Have men who don't listen ever started listening? I'm imagining maybe a counsellor or some other changed dynamic making things go in somehow, or anything

Have men ever started doing more housework? My p does a lot of childcare, I work much longer hours than him, but he thinks he is a hero for the childcare and doesn't really bother with housework.

Sex. has anyone restored sex to a sexless relationship?

The resentment is building. it goes in waves. sometimes I talk myself into things being fine. sometimes I am just fucking furious and I look at myself and think: is this my life? and literally feel suicidal, with boredom and rage.

I suggested counselling, he sort of shrugged and said "if you organise it." This alone makes me not have great hopes for his engagement when / if we get there. (I have no idea how to organise childcare.)

Background: in theory I quite like him, when he makes the effort and engages he is the kind of person I like to spend time with and have a conversation with. In practice I am so fucked off with him that I forget this for weeks on end. he is dismissive and silent a lot of the time. We sleep separately, originally because of his snoring but now I think we both prefer it. I have suggested sex twice over the past few weeks. Once he laughed at me, once he just said no.

I gave up drinking 6 weeks ago and now I need to go on a diet. These things are partly fuelling the piquance of my fury. I think, because I was using them to bury my feelings. Sex in particular has returned with a vengeance, I am feeling pretty healthy which is good in many ways but damn it is fucking inconvenient to be a sexual being in a sexless relationship (at least if I was single I could dream!)

we have two children 6 and 4

Any positive stories? I am feeling very blue about it all at the moment. Dreading time away this summer in close proximity. really feeling a bit ill with dread

Sorry to see you didn't get many positive replies ohso and sorry for taking so long to reply myself.

All I can bring myself to say is that a lot of your original posts describes a lot of similarities to my last relationship. I was suffering from depression and my partner felt unloved. This manifested in my partner thinking I was being abusive when there is no way on earth I would do anything to deliberately hurt her as I love her deeply. (I have to accept that many of my actions , inactions and behaviours, did hurt her and technically, fall into the emotional abuse category)

Our relationship ended before we got the chance to fully explore the therapy or counselling route. This is a massive regret of mine. I'm sure if I'd suggested it months before the break up she would've been open to it, but when you are in that state of mind it's not likely that you will be the one to instigate such action , even such a conversation.

I now face the prospect of facing my demons alone which I imagine is 10 times harder than if we'd done it together in the first place.

I hope you find the answers.