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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

why have i just messed this up? my fault or him

28 replies

dippyd123 · 19/06/2015 10:29

Hello, feeling bit upset today. I had been seeing a guy since Feb but had been quite close to him before that, there had been so many obstacles in the way that were just too difficult to over come. 3 weeks ago we mutually decided to stop seeing each other, was really hard 2 weeks and then last week he got in touch we met up at weekend for Sunday dinner he admitted he thought we should try again but go slow (think we were both expecting too much of each other) I agreed and had been a lot happier this week been txting none stop and skyping.

Then last night I invited him round was going great until I had forgot to put my phone on silent he wasnt purpously looking but i opened it in front of him I hadnt realised who it was and it was a guy ive been chatting to on kik never met him or barely spoke to him, he wanted know who it was. I had previously told him about sites I go on to chat more than anything before I got with him, I honestly hadnt been chatting to anyone whilst with him but obviously people have my contact details and I do still get the occasional message. He said he thought I had deleted my profile I admitted I hadnt but just left it dormant and I had nipped on a couple times last week. So he stormed out said he cant do it he had years of been messed about with his ex and hes not doing it again, says he really loves me but its just not going to work.

Tried messaging him but hes ignoring me I understand why hes annoyed but I honestly didnt mean anything by keeping profile open, I txt and said I will delete the 2 sites im on and ill delete the apps I chat to them via but ive had no responce.

Dont know what to do, I have really strong feelings for him and I know hes the same but in 5 months had so much to deal with. I could kick myself

OP posts:
Hissy · 21/06/2015 10:26

He dumped you.

Then he changed his mind.

He should be thanking his lucky stars that you lack self esteem to the point that you're giving him yet another chance to hurt you.

He has NO right to call the shots when he's mucked you about.

Your kids don't get on, that alone is going to kill your relationship.

Let him go. He's not the man you want or need him to be.

Your kids deserve better too. Don't introduce them so readily next time.

I know this is shit, I made similar mistake in the new year myself. Destroyed me and hurt my son. We both adored him, and we loved his children and they loved us. Just that he had issues and I got dumped.. Badly. 3 times.

Yes, I know. I hang my head.

You are worth more than this. Don't go back, only forward.

dippyd123 · 22/06/2015 09:45

Well tbh the first split 3 weeks ago was mutual, I was upset and said we cant carry on and he said I know, he made the first move to have a meet up last weekend. Im not desperate for a man ive been a single mum for over 5 years so thats not an issue I know when to cut my losses just doesnt help that feeling, thought things could be different this time..

Ended up drunk txting him saturday he replied but only to tell me to take care when getting home and said to let him know when im home safe I must of passed out woke to a txt asking if im home safe. I txt in morning and he just said good glad I had a nice night then that was that. We have mutual friends makes it hard

OP posts:
Hissy · 22/06/2015 14:53

Love, I know, it's hard, but this is not going to result in a happy relationship. who dumped who is immaterial, if he wanted to be with you he would be.

I was the one that got dumped each time, the first was excruciating, the second was awful, the last one he did do badly there was and is no going back. I think about him every day. I miss the very bones of him, but if he crawled all the way from his place to mine on bended knee, I would not be able to take him back because of what he said.

Your guy is being cold, he has checked out. You will recover from this, but in the meantime, please delete his number, stop yourself drunk texting him?

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