There is a 27 year difference between my SO and I. We've been dating for 1 year and 5 months. I love him very much and am thinking about marriage. He very much fits into the "list" of things that I looked for since I can remember. We have many similarities, I enjoy being with him, and I am passionately attracted to him.
Many of the "stereotypes" that people think of when they think of a OM/YW relationship are not true in our case. His wife was the one to cheat on and ultimately leave him. For many years he did not look for someone because he wanted to be there for his son. I hold a Master's degree and make more money than him. He is supportive of my career and even has his own personal career goals.
Even before I met him, I did not want any children. I had a large share in raising my nephews and decided years ago that I did not want any of my own children. I work at a school and expect that after I marry him I will become a grandmother. I like that method, have fun with the kid, and then hand them back to their parents.
It also does not scare me that I may someday have to take care of him. My parents have one of the most loving relationships that I have ever seen. (On a side note, I am not looking for a substitute dad. The dad that I have now is one of my best friends). My mother became sickly at age 35, she has several different illnesses and many of her family members who have the same illness that she has died in their fifties. My sister is also clinically depressed and has been struggling with severe mental health issues since she was a teenager. I know that illnesses can happen at any age and that when problems arise, families stick together to face them head on.
People that I am closest to have voiced their concern about my relationship with my SO. Personally, I am very sure that this is the man that I want to marry. Some of their concerns is that he will not be able to have a fully sexual relationship with me or be able to physically protect me. I know that there are other ways to be intimate Additionally, I think of people that live with their brothers or sisters or friends all their lives and are happy. As long as I have my best friend and partner at home I can see myself being happy even if we are no longer able to have sexual relations. As far as not being able to protect me, I think I would be safe knowing that he could always pick up the phone if I were hurt.
Still, their concern sometimes causes me to pause and think. I have always looked to their guidance and I know that they want the best for me but the reasons above are truly what I know in my mind and heart. I do not think I am being naiive but rather I am going about this rationally. Does anyone have experience along these lines that they'd like to share?