Physical in row - playing on my mind

[grizzlegrumps]

Had a petty row with DH on Sat. Neither of us would back down and we were bickering in the car with children in the back.

He was visibly getting more and more wound up and telling me to shut up (admit I was a bit scared) and then he reached across and put his hand across my mouth and spat "just shut up!".

I was shocked and also livid and did call him a psychopath and told him to let me out of the car.

Things calmed down a bit and then heated up again at home away from kids. He refused to admit he was wrong for original petty row and that I shouldn't have shouted in front of kids. I told him that he shouldn't have physically touched me in front of them to which he replied "you're lucky I didn't smack you in the face, you should've just shut up". He did eventually apologies but only once I'd said I shouldn't have shouted in front of kids.

I'm trying to forget this as it's probably only the second time in ten years he's ever been like that at all - never laid a finger on me but threatened to. Totally out of character (although he can be quite controlling) but it's playing on my mind.

He really bloody scared me and I was quite worried he'd hit me.

Do I bring it up again or just leave it? we've had a rocky-ish six months but things have (had) been awesome recently and so his has knocked me. We've got two boys 4&2.

I never said it did. I said his behaviour was unacceptable. I said she should ltb as things wont change. BUT shouting in front of your children, going on and on as is written in the op, in a car remains unacceptable. I imagine the op feels driven to that behaviour due to years of the husbands behaviour. But it isnt acceptable.

Him trying to restrain you physically was out of order and the way you and your H communicate is appalling and damaging to your children.

Getting some to admit they were wrong when they don't want to and have a history of not doing so, is at best futile and at worst, looking for an escalation (this doesn't in any way excuse his physicality). Calling each othe names in front of your children is inexcusable and you both have to have a long hard look at yourselves because this wont resolve itself without some serious effort.

Time to enlist professional support, don't let a dysfunctional marriage be the relationship role model for your children.